Journal

Hey everyone,

just wanted to say that Iam still alive and everything is good...and that that I haven't forgotten about any of you or this fab site! But I am so so so busy and things only slowly calming down.

After giving birth to Henry and spending a week in Intensive care I only had a week at home in Germany before we had to pack the boxes for our big move... I think I have forgotten to tell you all that my husband got posted back to UK. So since the past five weeks I heve been living in UK and as you all can imagine moving with a new born to a new country (which is is too me) has been not easy!! And as we also bought a house we had adn still have lots of things to sort out....and in between I am getting use to my new role as a mum with my ever so cute litlle boy.

Henry is doing fine you would never tell that we went through all that drama at birth the way how fab he is developing!!! He started baby talk and smile at us now which is so so rewarding for all the long long nites...and to all you girls who are in teh same boat you probably know what I am talikng about...lol

I am still breastfeeding and absoulutly love it!! Even though sometimes my little boy believes that my nippels made out of rubber when he gets to exited at the end of the feed trying to pull them apart...ouch that all I can say!

Henry is 7weeks old and I can't believe it how quicky he grows and develops. Every day is completly different with him. And the days are flying by. By the time I get up Its bed time again and I feel that I just woke up...lol

So I have to sign off for now as my boy is waking up. As soon I have developed a routine I ll catch up with you all. My husband goes back to work on the 22nd Sep so I am hoping to get to know my little tinker a bit more and develop a new routine. I hope you all well speak to you soon.  lots of love!!

So, after a long hard journey our little boy has finally arrived!

Henry Willam was bor on the 15th July 2008 @ 2027hrs. He was 3120gr (ca 7.2oz) and 54cm (ca 20inch).

The labour was everything but easy. Been contracting since nearly 2weeks beforehand but nothing really happened to my cervix. I haven't had a proper nice sleep since because I had mega pains and have been very restlesst. The Docs decided then to help out a bit and open up the cervix by 1cm. Despite of the contractions not much further happened. So 4days later they decided to widedn my cervix to 4cm. We stayed in the hospital over nihgt as everybody thought I would go into labour....yet again all I had was contractions, sleepless night and nothing else.

In the morning my cervix has been still only 4cm. The Docs decided then to give me a drip to make the contracions stronger and more frequent...and guess what after 6hrs on it....nothing...still just 4cm!

It was then decided to brake my waters after I had few hrs sleep so I could regain some strengh. I been given a sleeping tablet and went to bed....and hey guess what then happened....yep I went to bed after taking my sleeping tablet and my waters broke by itslef!!!!

The water was gushing without a pause as the head wasn't engaged as intitailly thought. It was low throughout the whole pregnancy only!!

After a while a finally fell asleep for few hours. And after I woke up the CTG showed NO CONTRACTIONS!!!! ARG!!!!

So I have been given a drip again to start off the contractions. It was 2pm by the time my contractions became very regular and very very painfull!

My cervix opened up very slowly though so the midwife decided to give me a check up.....what I didn't know was that she hwd plnaed to help my cervix a bit. She widened it with ther hand....I had no pain reliefe what so ever. We managed to my cervix to open to 8cm when I had the urge to push.....And it was a no no at that stage!!

The problem was that I am build very small and because I was beded down for such a long time my cervix got really strong despite the fact that it was so thin this and an overlap of skin from the cervix made it hard for the baby to pass.....

They decided then to stop the contractions in order to give me and epidural in order to relax everything....and I soooo didn't want one and managed to cope with all the pain till I was 9cm dylated.

By ca 7.30pm my contractions have been restarted.....

By the time I was ready to push one of the Docs had to push on my tummy to  help the baby out and the other had to use the sucktion on my little boys head to get him out. I was passing out as all the pressure on my belly and the me pushing really hard was taking all my blood supply from my brain.

The first push attempt the sucktion slipped from my baboes head..... All I could see was blood on the Doctor infront of me....

And then all I heard was...the babies heart rate has droped we need to get it out....  And I heard the Doc cutting me down below getting the sucktion inside me again and screamed at me to push.... again the oterh Doc pushed my tummy, I was blacking out but all I kept thinking I don't wnat my baby to die!!!!

The next thing I know he was laying on my chest whilst they were cutting his cord and straight after he was taking of me when it intensive care staff where looking taking care of him. I heard him cry and that when I knew he ll be all right....

He was rushed to intensive care and I have been stiched together.

eventually the Docs came telling us that he had lots of trauma to his head and he was pretty weak but he is slowly recovering and he should be fine. They asked my husband if he wanted to go and see him as they had to take some blood of him....at that stage we didn't even know that we had a boy.

Quite emazingly I was suddenly clear in my head again despite such a long hard and very painfull labour.

DH eventually came back with a huge smile saying its a boy and that he will be all right and....that he had big bolls....how funny is that!!! Proud daddy hey!?

Around midnight I was allowed to go and see him in intensive care...and thats when my emotions kicked in. I cried and shaked and just felt so sorry for him. His head was swollen really bad and he had a massive scar on his head coverd in blood.....my poor boy.

Well after 8 days on intensive care our boy is back home. His head healed very well no swelling and scar left despite the fact that the Docs thought it would take weeks for him to recover. He had jaundice in between as well but recovered from it after only 2 days. He strted putting weight back on and is our pride and joy.

And to summerise it. Even though it has been a long, hard, worrying, painfull journey....looking at my little healty boy.....IT WAS SO SO WORTH IT!!!!!

Well, after 2 days of contractions and pains....nothing!!

Went into hospital y/day evening due to more contractions and the doc decided to force open the scare tissue of what was left on the cervix as it didn't seem to open by it self....more contractions followed and I stayed in the hospital. Been given few pain killers so I could get rest in case of going into labour....I had few contractions during the night and this morning.

But as soon I got connected to the CTG....Nothing....not even one little one!! So there is me  now back home. So we have to play the waiting game for a little longer. I know I sound like I am complaining and I shouldn't as I still have 2 weeks till the due date....but I guess if you have been prepared for a prem baby for such a long time and all the docs been telling you for months the baby is coming, the baby is coming....and there is me 38+1!!!

I am now 1cm dylated and by the looks of thigs ll be staying that way for a while! And I always thought as soon your cervix is oppened things ll move on quickly!?

It seems that the baby feel very well inside me...I must do something right! And all the aparent remedies from pineapple, hot curry, hot bath and sex don't seem to touch my baby! Our little one is a fighter thats for sure!!!