Journal Entry for August 24, 2009
August 24, 2009 3:45pm
Not Sure ? I'm having really bad thoughts. They don't make much sense.I miss, up home & there really isn't anyone …
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Zus
1:32pm, November 13, 2009
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About Me
Zus
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About Me
I am lost in a confusion of life. Me = Single 47yo Recovering from a stroke and have a 6/7detarating vertibre, that has lost everything due to fear's and not understanding. I've sold my home, lost my job and now I've moved here and living in this city closer to the medical facility. Now I have found more fear and no one near - that is close enough to visit. Yes very lonely.
I am lost in a confusion of life. Me = Single 47yo Recovering from a stroke and have a 6/7detarating vertibre, that has lost everything due to fear's and not understanding. I've sold my home, lost my job and now I've moved here and living in this city closer to the medical facility. Now I have found more fear and no one near - that is close enough to visit. Yes very lonely.
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Interests
I like (use) to hike, run my Quad-Runner, (left that at my brothers house, up-state NY) and just relax when it's time too. Anymore I find myself staying in and away from anything that could pose as a threat. So now it's TV, computer and bordem!
I like (use) to hike, run my Quad-Runner, (left that at my brothers house, up-state NY) and just relax
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Recent Activity
November 13
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Zus updated their status 1:32pm
looking for someone to chat with !…
November 12
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Zus gave HeartStrings flowers 1:31pm
I hope the holidays bring some comfort !…
May 28
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Zus turned 47 12:00am
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Journal
This entry is private
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Not My Problem.
August 18, 2009 5:57pm
Well,
I showed for the closing of the house.
The owner didn't show.
It was a court house cost of $450. and I'm out on that.
The down payment will …
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Journal Entry for August 9, 2009
August 9, 2009 10:49pm
I dont know !I'm so stressed.What am, I too do ?
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Hug
Hi there precious friend I agree a rainbow is gods covenant and such beauty.Sending you my love and a great big HUG!! Rachel
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Hug
Good Luck
You "keep on keepin' on" okay? You'll find its worth it later.....I promise
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Prayer
I understand how you feel, often times I think my family is just waiting for me to kick the bucket. Its so hard, even with family, I have no one to fall back on. They can't face my illness so they ignore it (me) I pray that you get your inner strenth to keep moving on!
Hug
thnx very much n h your days being kind to you
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Panic Attacks
No matter how thing's turn-out , I am alway's panicing over what people tell me that I should just let it go and keep going. I , inside, cant seem do hold that and keep a grip. As the days have gone by , I have found myself staying in and avoiding the idea of leaving the house. I just receintly moved here to get better medical attion. I know only a couple of people here and it is scary compared to my little home town.
Treatments
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- I've been on other drug's, but klon' seem's to help me right now
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionHi ,There has been so much change in my life sence I was broad-sided by a dumtpruck. I am unable to do the kind of work that I've done for most of my life. I've moved to Pittsburgh from upstate NY and the city life is expensive and I am fearful to go out and see it. I haven't made any friends here, as of yet, just recently made the move. My total body is in pain, seem's something somewhere is sorer than what hurt the day before. I am not able to participate with other's, easily understandable
Treatments
Open Back Pain
Hi: I was involved in a motor-vehicle accident back in 1997, surgery was done to correct a couple of vertebra's. I was struck in 2001 and have been having the same problem's I had before the surgery, I've seen doctor's and a surgeon. The surgeon declined to do the surgery, (again) he said the risk's are too high and would not be safe. I am now trying to rebuild a life that is not working out as well as I'd hope. In about 3hours my arms/neck give more pain than I can handle.
Treatments
- Acupressure Not Working
- did nothing for me
- Bedrest Working / Worked
- help's but it's hard to stay put !
- Cortisone (Injection) Not Working
- made me sickly and very "mean"
- Fioricet Not Working
- had no effect
- Heat Not Working
- I still try it though
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- help's relieve the pain, but I quit because it wasn't a true help and I fear the danger's.
- Ibuprofen Somewhat Helpful
- is like taking tylinol but does do as well of a relief
- Stretching Somewhat Helpful
- During the stretching my arm gets tingly before the pain increases. I have the same type of pain when I take walk's.
- TENS Somewhat Helpful
- This does help alittle as I rest, but does tend to give a headache
Open Brain Injury
The accident was in 1997, took neck surgery and a long time to physically recover. My memory is bad . I can recall the bad thing's and can't recall names with faces or such easily known fact's! I keep misplacing thing's.
Open Chronic Pain
I've got a nerve that is pinched lightly between two vertibre's. It is only getting worst. My balance is hard to keep and the tingling in my right hip/leg is rough.
Treatments
- Heat Somewhat Helpful
- Doesn't do much for me.
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- These type of med's make me goofy, more so than usuall.
- Oxycodone Working / Worked
- Gives the same as Hydocodone.
- Physical Therapy Not Working
- I will alway's keep moving as long as I can.
- TENS Somewhat Helpful
- The unit is only good for a bit , then it's painful itself.
Open Degenerative Disc Disease
I was hit by a golf-cart at work in 2001 that a fellow employee was driving. I was working under a mower with my head and upper body underneath it, I thought it would simply pass. I am now in a situation, that has been biggest down fall of my life. a previous motor vehicle accident put me threw a surgery that has my neck full of rods and screws, I've gone as far as sitting with different surgeons , that have backed out with a hand shake /good luck and not something one would attempt. :(
Open Anxiety
I was caught by the Veterans Administration Security Officer, watching me with a camera. As I sat in my car having a attack.... The tape was turned over to the mental dept. and I have been taged with this disorder and have been doing drugs for it ever sense !
Treatments
- Ativan Not Working
- not a drug for me !
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- I am always too to just .... and well being told what to do ... has a way of making me mad. I tell people to just let me alone and they feel they can get me through the problem,
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- Well, spring of, 2009 will be my 2nd decade on this drug, so I'm hooked, but then they have tried taking me off from it and use other drugs to replace it
- Paxil Working / Worked
- this drug didn't make it to the thered week of being on it..
- Trazodone Not Working
- This was a dangerous drug for me
- Valium Working / Worked
- I was taken off, this drug, "..it's too, habit forming"
- Zoloft Not Working
- it was problems
- Seroquel Not Working
- this drug pulled me down so hard I was at a friends house one morning a bout a hour after taking the drug I passed blacked out at the dinning table. they called the ambulance because they werent going to let me die in their house ! it was a bad bad drug Beware of this Drug
