Journal

On 19 Jan. my sweet little cat, Toby became quite ill and we had to have him put to sleep.  He has been our substitute child since the kids left home and our hearts are breaking.  After 16 years of him being ever by my side, listening to all my trials and tribulations, and loving me unconditionally, the house is so very empty without him.  It is hard to believe he won't be here with us each day, but he will be forever in my heart!  Toby was a big, beautiful Maine Coon cat with such a personality, and so sweet and mellow.  Everyone who met him fell in love with his sweet nature and beautiful face, and big furry feet!  I have never loved an animal as much as I loved my sweet boy.  These past few days since he died, I have been wandering the house like a lost soul, not really knowing what to do with myself.  I will never get over the loss, but I pray I will get through it in time.  It is very lonely here without my little furry buddy.

Just coasting through the days now.  Things will always be the same and I have accepted that.  My "escape" is in my books and in my mind.  I am blessed  and try to remember that.  But I feel the song "Is That All There Is?" is my life's theme.