When I was eight years old I went to live with my bio mom and her husband. She had left my dad when I was three months old. I never saw her after that until I was eight, and then I wanted to go live with her and hounded and guilt tripped my dad until he let me. About a month after I moved in, my mother held me down while my step dad shot me full of heroine(just to see what would happen). Then she held me while he raped me and then she licked the blood up. They were into drugs REALLY bad. Well they started to sell my body to their friends for drugs, and of course to ease the pain, I started to drink and take the drugs also. I live in this environment until I was thirteen. All the time, I wasn't allowed to see my dad. He did come by one day and wanted to take me out to eat and my step dad put a gun to his head right in front of me and said he would kill him if he ever came back. So my dad left. The next day I went to school ( I was in the seventh grade) and I got into a fight on the school bus. I was sure that when they called me into the office, that the bus driver turned me in. Come to find out, the bus driver called my dad and told him i was drunk and high on the bus and that he could come to the school and get me. So when I walked into the office, I was shocked, happy, scared, nervous, you name it that is what I was. So my dad took me straight to rehab. I spent six months in rehab and now I am clean. I have been clean for a long time. I married my first husband when I was 17. the marriage lasted for two years of physical abuse, 3 miscarriages, and a lot of emotional abuse. Then I married my second husband when i was 21. He ended up being worse than my first husband. He raped me repeatedly in front of our children, and he even abused them and that was when I left. He is now in prison for first degree murder and I have no doubt in my mind that if I had stayed, I would have ended up dead also. That marriage only lasted a year. Then I was alone for around 6 years. I had to prove to myself that I could do it on my own. I went to college and got a degree in cartography/geography. Then just last year I married my wonderful, considerate, compassionate husband. We dated for a LONG time and lived to gether even longer before I would accept a proposal. I told him that he had boundaries to live by and he respects them. (not that he would ever do what the others have. he is wonderful). So now I have 4 kids, live on a big farm, and i also have a wonderful family. My only prob now is that my grandma and my parents (dad and stepmom) tell me that everything that happened to me is my fault. Even when I was a kid. They say that if i hadn't begged to live with my bio mom, it would never have happened. They also say that the marriages I went into on my own and I got what came to me. They are very unsupportive and my husband is all I have for support. Due to my past I have been diagnosed with PTSD, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, Agoraphobia, Borderline personality disorder, and severe depression. the depression has lessened but I am still suffering. The only person i can talk to is my husband, and on my real bad days, he stays home from work to take care of the kids and make sure i take my meds (cause i am convinced i don't need them when i am bad). My husband and I are having only one issue right now and that is that he likes to watch porn. I despise it because I was made to watch that stuff with my bio mom and step dad. He says he feels like i'm trying to change him and I told him that I'm not trying to. Throughout our whole marriage, I have never once asked him to change anything or give anything up for me. Except this one thing , and he is fighting me the whole way on this. I do have self esteem issues, and I have found that the only way for us to get past this issue is for me to give in. (As I always have). I am going to have to learn how to deal with this crap, but I don't even know how to start. Any advice would be appreciated. Jackie
When I was eight years old I went to live with my bio mom and her husband. She had left my dad when I was three months old. I never saw her after that until I was eight, and then I wanted to go live with her and hounded and guilt tripped my dad until he let me. About a month after I moved in, my mother held me down while my step dad shot me full of heroine(just to see what would happen). Then she held me while he raped me and then she licked the blood up. They were into drugs REALLY bad. Well they
Computer; reading romance novels, stephen king, dean koontz, Day's of our lives, all my children, general hospital, and i love spending time with my family.
Computer; reading romance novels, stephen king, dean koontz, Day's of our lives, all my children, general
December 26, 2007 11:13pm
Things are going a little better tonight. Rusty and I are still at each other's throats. urg,,,,,, I'm just bitchy and I …
December 24, 2007 11:03pm
Today is Christmas Eve. I thought i'd be an ok day, but I'm missing my "external" family so much. We used to be such a …
December 11, 2007 9:21pm
We have just found out about two weeks ago, that my dad has been "messing" with my daughters. He's being held in jail with no …
November 11, 2007 7:36pm
On their wedding night, the young bride>>>approached her new>>>husband and asked for $20.00 for their first>>>lovemaking …
November 10, 2007 4:12pm
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. > > …
Thinking of you...
i just read your "about me" and it actually made me cry. i am so sorry to hear all of that and i truly wish that you KNOW it wasn't your fault. thats all i wanted to say. take care :)
I wrote this poem several years ago and hope that you will enjoy it and that it may give comfort and reassurance into the meaning of life. It goes as follows: LIFE'S JOURNEY I pray that God will bless you At the start of each new day And grant you health and happiness And friends to share your way As you journey through this life To reach that Ultimate Goal May you find peace and happiness Deap within your soul The road is long and narrow Full of trials and sufferings too But you must continually endure it As the appropriate thing to do Each of us has a tunnel Either filled with thorns or roses We must travel through the thorny tunnel To achieve heaven and the roses. Copyright, 1989, Terry M. Martini. All rights reserved. Terry
hello how are you doing? let me know i care sending you a HUGE HUG your way love mcate
Hi J.Sorry things are so tense with hubby.I hope your well and things smooth out.(HUGS)
My name is jackie and I have dual diagnosis due to childhood sexual abuse. I have low self esteem issues which affect my marriage.
I have dual diagnosis' due to childhood sexual abuse.
I was severely sexually abused as a child and I now have dual diagnosis. I have many quirks and my husband just does not understand me. He is loving and wonderful, but he can't be a good support without knowing how to handle things.
I have dual diagnosis' but bulimia is one of them. I am able to maintain my weight, but the overeating then purging gets the best of me sometimes. I am joining a support group at the recommendation of my therapist and this is the only way cause I'm agoraphobic also.
I was sexually abused by my mother and step father from ages 8-13 and sold to their friends for drugs. When I was thirteen I was diagnosed with HPV and Cervical Cancer at the age 20. I still have symptoms of HPV, but my husband is extremely supportive and understanding of this.
I was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer when I was 20. I was diagnosed with HPV when I was 13, which was contracted from incest, Sexual abuse.
I have been having migraines since I had an epidural with my son ten years ago.
I was sexually abused by my bio mom and step dad for five years. It started when I was eight years old. I have flashbacks, night terrors, panic attacks, insomnia, and I also imagine the things that happened to me during sex with my husband sometimes. Weird I know, but there it is.
I've had a horrible past and now my husband has an addiction that just angers me down to my very core.
I was sexually abused by my biomom and step dad. More of my story on my profile page.
