Journal Entry for November 12, 2007
November 12, 2007 1:29pm
So, I am so goddamn disconnected from my gf, that I—sadly—have to now, write the things I want to say to her in this her journal and …
timmyj 
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About Me
timmyj
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About Me
I am a "IT-guy" and I have a good life. It took a lot to get here, but I'm thankful for what I have even though I forget occasionally. I love music and listen to it more than I talk to people somedays. Not that I'm an introvert. I love people. I love talking to people. Unfortunately, I'm a bit shy too. I love my family and they mean the world to me. My friends are important too.
I am a "IT-guy" and I have a good life. It took a lot to get here, but I'm thankful for what I have even though I forget occasionally. I love music and listen to it more than I talk to people somedays. Not that I'm an introvert. I love people. I love talking to people. Unfortunately, I'm a bit shy too. I love my family and they mean the world to me. My friends are important too.
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Journal
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Journal Entry for September 27, 2007
September 27, 2007 12:15am
Okay, don't really FEEL like writing or have much to write about, but I'm feeling shitty, so...what the fuck.
I miss her so much. I miss …
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Journal Entry for September 25, 2007
September 25, 2007 12:00am
I listened to "Lost in this Moment" when I was sitting in my car, smoking. I bawled my eyes out. We used to day dream about our …
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Journal Entry for September 24, 2007
September 24, 2007 10:56pm
I don't want her to know how hurt I am. I wonder if she did, if she would give into her emotions and and love and accept me. Tell me …
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Journal Entry for September 24, 2007
September 24, 2007 7:29pm
Still hurting...more actually. Still feeling Horrible.
I had a very hard day today. I kept torturing myself by listening to the CDs of …
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Support Groups
Close Healthy Relationships
I've dated a lot of different people and now I finally met her. I love my girlfriend more than anything and for the first time, I've never wanted anything more. But she can't let me in. We keep going through these cycles where it will be great, better than ever before and my heart swells and I get all of these overwhelming feelings, so intense that sometimes I get teary with happiness. Then, we go through a bad spell where it seems like she can't stand me and she won't talk to me.
Treatments
- Patience Somewhat Helpful
- I have a hard time with problems, because I'm a problem solver. If something comes up, it makes me feel horrible and I just want to talk it out as soon as possible, get to the core and work on the "action items", but some of the time I know I just have to keep my mouth shut, SHOW her that I care and I love her and let things run their course. But sometimes I feel like if I don't get her to talk her mind will go into the negative and I'll lose her.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- I love to solve problems, too much so sometimes...Talking kinda works against the whold Patience thing for me. I can't seem to find a good balance between the two. I always want to talk when I know there's a problem, but it's hard getting her to sometimes, but when I do, it always seems to help.
Close Cocaine Addiction & Recovery
Joining in hopes that I can help someone by using my personal experience with Drug Addiction. I should be dead. I began using in 11th grade. Crack was my drug of choice, I loved the rush. For 7 months in 1998, I used an average of 5 days a week. I was caught in a helluva downward spiral. My last time using was a 5-day bender with no sleep. I was 124 lbs when I checked into detox that night, now I'm almost 180!
Treatments
- Narcotics Anonymous (NA) Working / Worked
- The biggest thing for me was to change my playground and playfriends. NA gave me a new community of people that I knew weren't going to try to get me to use again. I only attended for about 4 months, but still keep in contact with one really good friend from NA.
Open Financial Challenges
I've always had problems with money. It doesn't seem to matter how much money I make, I just add to my debt. I make good money, more than a large portion of people can even hope to make...and I still live paycheck to paycheck. I have a really solid plan, but spending gets the better of me.
Treatments
- Budgeting Somewhat Helpful
- It mostly helps to have a snapshot image in my head of my finances and where I'm at, but keeping to the budget is the hard part. Anyone can sit down and write numbers, changing your lifestyle is the key.
- Cut Up Credit Cards Somewhat Helpful
- I just hide them, lock them in my desk. If I never have them ON me, I don't have to worry about impulses, but I still have a high balance and interest rates.
- Earn Money Not Working
- Don't matter how much more I make, I just go into debt more.
Open Cervical Cancer
My girlfriend is having the Leep procedure next week. We are very afraid.
Treatments
- Colposcopy Not Working
- Her's came back Severe.
Open Endometriosis
My fiancée is suspected of having this. She has pretty much every symptom of it. She is having surgery later this month. I'm scared.
Open Lyme Disease
my wife has lymes
