When will the shit stop
October 12, 2009 12:45pm
Written in grey to reflect how dull I am feeling, soon to be homeless and struggling to cope emotionally and financially. Every letter I open is for …
Progress
5 %
Kiama
6:47pm, January 16, 2009
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About Me
Kiama
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About Me
Unemployed, overweight, lonely, angry, suffer from jealousy and OCD. Recently moved so don't have many friends and not alot of contact with old friends.
Unemployed, overweight, lonely, angry, suffer from jealousy and OCD. Recently moved so don't have many friends and not alot of contact with old friends.
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Interests
Net, Darts, Films, Tv, Eating, Exercise, Sleeping & Pub.
Net, Darts, Films, Tv, Eating, Exercise, Sleeping & Pub.
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Recent Activity
- Sorry, there is no activity in the My Activity feed.
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Journal
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Rest in Peace Princess
January 16, 2009 7:10pm
So many things I wish I could say to you, even just to say your name. Wish I could hold you in my arms and hear you. I will never get that pleasure, …
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Christmas
December 25, 2008 2:00pm
Merry Christmas
Is it though?
I am living in a place I hate, one of my closest friends has moved away and my only real joy is my nephew …
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Journal Entry for January 20, 2008
January 20, 2008 11:27pm
Things have changed a lot the past two weeks and dare I say it, all is seeming to be going well at moment. Bf came back and we have started to do the …
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Journal Entry for January 2, 2008
January 2, 2008 12:02pm
The last few days have been absolute torture, found naughty texts on bfs phone day at 2am New Years Eve, confronted him, he denied it and said it …
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Hugbook
Hug
try opening up a myspace page and make friends.
Hug
just because
Hug
I said that becoz on rare occassions i played with girls ,women, they nearly took my eye out.lol.I havent played darts in ages but i used to have one a few years ago,i loved it, sometimes i watch it on the t.v,if its a big match. i like those games too. im not good but im not bad either as well, if i practiced it. highest checkout is 136, it was bull, treb 20 and double 13,the bull was a fluke the rest pure magic,lol-my friend was stunned, he thought he had a few more darts left to play. i cant sleep now and these times i really wish i had one on my wall. As for the sleep no such luck, so i have decided to stay awake and sleep at a reasonable time tomorrow. I too am making a new start i recently moved and lost contact with some friends but i found out they werent real friends, coz real friends actually care,lol. Wow this is the longest hug ive given yet,cant bloody sleep! In the lad of dreams is where i long to be,anyway hope u have a good week and that you keep enjoying yr darts, oh and maybe if yr free sometime we cld chat?
Hug
hey i saw yuor profile and i thought i'd send yer a hug
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Hug
hello kiama- welcome, im dishing out some hugs-wow a girl that likes darts. does that mean you r good at them?
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Photos
Kiama hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
Progress
0 %
Goal End Date is Jun 10, 08 536 days ago.Current Weight (Lbs)199 -
Support Groups
Close Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
OCD started as me just doing things the way I wanted and then I got upset when I couldn't have it my way. I thought I wasjust spoilt for a long time until I found ou what it was. Apparently also have OCPD (Personality) I cope with it pretty well but its hard to make friends as I have to be totally honest from the start or else I get the mickey took out of me and some people are unsure of me when they hear the label.
Close Depression
Suffered depression since I was about 9years old, never had much self esteem/self worth due to people in my life trampling on what I have had. Cope ok most of the time but whenever I think about my life I find it hard to be positive.
Treatments
- Celexa Not Working
- Didn't try for long so tt may have helped if on for longer.
- Elavil Somewhat Helpful
- Only think when awake so it helped as it kept me asleep 80% of the day and too tired to think the other 20%. Had to stop as wanted to live life a little.
- Lexapro Not Working
- Didn't try for long so tt may have helped if on for longer.
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- Helped me attempt to relax but couldn't make thoughts go away and started to obsess about it which made it harder.
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- Helps to count blessings/friends and plan things to do as it gives sense of achievement when even a small task is done. If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't - you're right. Either way its what you believe that makes things happen.
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- Worked for a while but mainly because life was so bad on it that when I came off it was a big relief.
- Trazodone Working / Worked
- Helped me tons for a very long time but then I started to panic as didn't know what my life was really like so I came off gradually, would go back on again if things got too bad.
- Writing Too Soon to Tell
- Tried comminity thing before and private journal with some help but now trying a blog journal on here.
- Valium Working / Worked
- Helped but became used to it v quickly, now only use when I know something will be too stressful to cope or will give me an anxiety style panic ie dentist or big party.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Worked well for me 2 years ago, I lost 4stone from 14st 4lbs to 10st 2lbs and felt v happy. Still had bad days but had something to keep my mind focused. Put it all back on again now tho so back at square one.
