Mrs Angry
October 27, 2009 7:48am
Just call me Mrs Angry today. Period a week late so PMS has had seven days to intensify. Self-destructive, but not in any immediately …
LauraGee 
4:58pm, November 8, 2009
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About Me
LauraGee
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About Me
I'm 43 years old, live with my boyfriend, work from home as a wedding photographer. No kids. Tee-total.
I'm 43 years old, live with my boyfriend, work from home as a wedding photographer. No kids. Tee-total.
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Interests
Visual art, reading, friends, countryside, films, taking it easy, nice food, yoga, pilates.
Visual art, reading, friends, countryside, films, taking it easy, nice food, yoga, pilates.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Monday Monday, contd.
October 26, 2009 8:01am
I just saved the last bit, in case I lost it.
Today is the day after the day when the clocks went back. Officially winter in my soul, …
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Monday Monday
October 26, 2009 7:52am
I haven't been on here for two years. Have just read my profile and yes, that's still me, it all still applies. I am the person I …
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Journal Entry for October 9, 2007
October 9, 2007 2:15pm
Can't believe it. I just 'lost' 2 journal entries on the trot.
Feeling better. Venlafaxine down to 37.5mg/day, with a …
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Journal Entry for September 23, 2007
September 23, 2007 4:33pm
...A bit later. Some welcoming hugs have improved my mood. Just wondering, is there anybody out there like me in their forties, childless, …
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Photos
LauraGee hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionAdult child of a WWII concentration camp survivor/political prisoner: my Dad. He suffered from depression & killed himself when I was 9. I developed an eating disorder, drug & alcohol problem by age 19. Treatment centre at 23. Have continued support in Anonymous fellowships, but still unhappy. Find it hard to support myself financially, & get into relationships for wrong reasons. Childless thro' fear of motherhood/responsibility/ and lack of self-confidence. In my forties. Crisis time.
Treatments
- Effexor Somewhat Helpful
- Well, I don't often get suicidal any more. It keeps me out of the 'basement' of my depression. Lack of libido a side effect.
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- Same as for Venlafaxine.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Has helped me change me life situation in the past. Awaiting 1st appt with a psychosexual counsellor. Counselling kept me at uni when I just wanted to leave, and I ended up getting a 1st Class Hons. degree!
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Friends especially, because those you can choose.. Don't like burdening my Mum any more, she's old, its' not fair on her. She suffers too. My sister is a nightmare (bless her). Friends are more help, but lately good ones have 'disappeared' on having babies.
- Writing Working / Worked
- My journal never tires of me, though I may tire of myself. It's always there for me, ready to listen. Thank God for journalling.
Close Families & Friends Affected By Suicide
My father was a Polish, Catholic, political prisoner in concentration camps during WWII. He survived the camps but not his depression. He took his life (and some of mine with it) in 1973, when I was 9, going on 10. Hard knowing to what extent my consequent behaviour / life choices were affected directly by that. I'm in recovery from drug/alcohol abuse, an eating disorder and depression. Doing okay but I struggle a lot with life.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Had different types at different times in my life.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Slowly slowly. Two steps forward, one step back.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Knowing my Journal is there for me makes me feel safe. It's like a vessel that can take whatever I throw at it. It can hold it all.
- Self-esteem Working / Worked
- My deepest belief was that I was unloveable. Had I been worth staying alive for, he would have chosen to live, and to love me. I've had to learn (am still learning) how to love & accept myself, no matter what.
Open Financial Challenges
I don't earn a decent living. Suffer from depression to varying degrees. Low self-esteem issues and fear affect my capacity to take on work and charge a decent amount for what I do.
Treatments
- Cut Up Credit Cards Working / Worked
- Much better for me not have credit options. I also don't use my overdraft any more, hurray!
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Friends
