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jacci 
Hello to all my DS friends, Well the day has finally arrived for me to tell Martyn (my current partner) that our relationship has come to an end. Dreading it but it has to be done. I'm not completely happy in this relationship and I can't stay any longer just because it's the safest option available to me, that would not be fair on me or him to do that. I have to admit my future really scares me and I can honestly say that I have never felt so alone and isolated as I do right now. I'm trying not to think to far ahead and only to address what's right in front of me for now hoping this somehow will make things a little easier for me to handle. I know that no one with a half a brain cell actually likes hurting people but I just REALLY hate it big time. I know Martyn will be hurt because to him I am his life. Dear lord please give me the strength to do this.
I like to think of myself as good at helping others and giving advice when I can so why am I soooo helpless at dealing with my own issues in life !!!!!!!!!!!! just does not make sense right now, but then again nothing is making much sense to me right now, feels like my head is going to burst. I keep on smiling for others and not really showing just how awful I'm feeling right now. Feel so lost and emotional right now, have so many emotions going on inside my mind. Sometimes I'm really optimistic about myself, what I want from life and my future, then in the next breath I feel completely scared and alone !! weird. I know I have to do this if I'm ever going to address a very important and serious issue in my life so I have no choice in the matter really. Obviously I'm not looking forward to dealing with the aftermarth of this relationship ending either, from both his family and my family memebers. His mother can be very over powering at times, always strung out on various medications and to say she's a bit leary is an understatement of the year, his sister will be over the moon though, she's never approved of me from day one, never been good enough for her younger brother apparently !! WHATEVER. And then there is my adoring family, never been close to them but they are still my family regardless. Everytime a relationship has ended their first words are usually what happen ? what did YOU do wrong !!!! never once do they ever say, well it just was'nt meant to be, or he was'nt the right person for you. Just a little support would'nt go a miss, just for once, never going to happen from my family thou so should stop expecting it should'nt I.
Well guys I may not be on DS for a little while, will see how things go and how I'm feeling ok. Just want you all to know that I'm thinking of you all regardless of what I'm dealing with right now. Will try to check in on you all to see how your all doing ok. Just remember I'm praying real hard for me right now so dropping in a pray for you guys is no problem at all LOL.
God bless you all. Love you all loads, bye for now.
Comments
Dear Jaci: I'm with you on this one! I am praying for courage, confidence and resilience. Yes, as you said, perhaps "it just wasn't meant to be, or he wasn't the right person for you". Funny isn't it after one breaks off a relationship "they" speak up about all the wrong stuff. We know, don't we, that we are doing the right thing - You are doing the right thing for your present and your future! You Go girl. I'm behind you cheering you on today. xo Sandi
MineraPearl
I will be here for you and so will our group. Remember to please you and not everyone else
SeanCky
Thank u so much, cannot tell u how much I appreciate that. God bless you. Take care now.
jacci
hi babe. just like you said, life is to short hun. follow your heart, do what you must. i know your haveing a really hard time right now. but your a star in my eyes darling. xxx.
paulHR
Thank u Paul for ur lovely words of encouragement here. Always there 4 me no matter what, I never forget this, just one of your special quality's babe. We'll catch up again real soon ok just give me time.
jacci
YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST FOR YOU TO MAKE YOU HAPPY SO IM GOING TO PRAY FOR YOU ABOUT THIS AND I WILL CHECK IN OFTEN TO SEE HOW YOUR DOING I LUV YA,STAY TUFF AND DONT WORRY WAHT OTHERS THINK,XOXOXOXOXOXOX,DOUG
snookslayer36
In life you sometimes have to do things that may hurt others but in the end, are you not being hurt yourself.
I say just this one thing and that is, it's your life you have to live don't live it for others. I wish you luck in all that you do. Loving Hugs JAA
JAA
Hi Jacci. I am with you. Life is to short, so follow your heart. I know you are having a tough time with this. Stay strong. I know you can do it.
Rob
xoxoxoxo
ROB2211
God u guys take my breath away with all ur support. I'm an emotional wreck right now and really dont feel strong at all. Just wanna run away and hide !! I know I can't do that obviously I have to address it now and deal with whatever comes my way. Thank you all for all you do for me, love you all loads.
jacci
Wow, just read the news. Please dont stay away for too long.
SCOTTyW
Jacci, It sounds as if you really thought things over well. You know what's best. Keep strong and my thoughts and prayers are with you. XOXO
muydulcelatino