Yeah, just got back from another …
Yeah, just got back from another psychiatrist. This one thinks I'm depressed too...great. If this continues, I …
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ellie23 
4:34pm, August 24, 2009
I feel so down and alone at the moment , i dont know which way to choose to go . I wanted so much to be able to give work up because of my health but that seems to be grinding to halt somewhat . I have been given the lowest payment of DLA which isnt much , certainly not in no way to enable me to finish work , but it is a help however small . But i had applied for early retirment due to ill health , only to be told on Friday that because i am still working i cant get it , great !!!..now what do i do ? i so want to finish my job , i have no life outside of work as i am so dam tired all the time that i am spending more time sleeping than anything else , now i dont want to walk or run around the world or climb mountains but i would like to spend time doing things with my children and my grandchildren , which isn't happening at the moment ! I dont see or hear from any-one except my children , i think many have given up on me !! I have some other issues going on in my life as well which are giving me cause for great concern and i dont know how they will work out !! Oh for a peaceful , pain free life !!
Sorry for anyone who does read this , but thanks for taking the time to stop by and read it ...i hope your day and week is a good one ...God bless love and hugs xxx
" PAIN ....CANNOT RECOLLECT WHEN IT BEGUN - OR IF THERE WERE A TIME WHEN IT WAS NOT ... IT HAS NO FUTURE ...BUT ITSELF . "
EMILY DICKINSON
Sorry also for not being in contact for awhile xx
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Hi Ellie, so sorry to hear you are not feel well emotionally and physically. It is a hard place to be having to work all day, expending your energy there and coming home and crashing. I can relate. The money issue is there for most of us. I'd stay home myself if I could. It's nice to expend energy around the house instead of work. We shall pray and we shall overcome!!! Hang in there sweetie. xoxo Mary
Snuffles
Hi Ellie
I haven't been DS in a long time myself. I've had several issues that I've been dealing with of late. I'm sorry that your feeling so lousy. It would be nice if our health wishes did come true. What kind of work do you do? I wish that I could work again. I haven't been working since 1995 and that was only for a year. I quit work in 1991 when I first took ill with the fibro. Now I have even more problems to live with. Like an enlarged heart and fatty liver disease. It just keeps adding up! At any rate, I pray that things will brighten up for you and maybe finally get to retire. Then you will be able to spend more time with your family. I don't think that they have given up on you. People just don't really understand fibro.
God bless and best wishes... :) Love ya
AngelEyes333
Hi, I am sorry you are feeling so low, I can understand how you are feeling totally, at least the Dla are recognising your condition, even though it is not a lot of money. I am still waiting to hear from them. Are you entitled to a blue badge? As for the people who have deserted you, they are not real friends, its at times like this that you realise who your true friends are. Thinking of you and keep in touch. xx
janemax
I am sorry Ellie that you are feeling poorly and cannot quit work. I know you have been hopeful for awhile that you were going to be able to. I will pray for you and your situation. I hope soon you will feel better. I sorry your friends aren't supporting you, I am glad to hear your family is though. Well it it late here so I will say good night. ----Hugs Anne.
Annewentworth
Oh honey, of course we would read this!!!!! We have the same problem here. Do you know that if you are in horrible financial situations, lets say I lost my job and had no money for rent and was homeless, because I have no children I would not qualify for any help either! Funny how that works huh???? I could go on and on about this one! I am so sad you are so down! I know I have been let down a lot this year too but wonder how I have gotten myself to try to find the "good" in all of it. On most days I don't feel the "good" but do force myself just because i have to. I won't allow myself to allow life and people to bring me down anymore. I'm sick of their shit and the only way to not let it bother me is to let it go. I wish you were closer because I would call you so we could talk! :-( Know i love you and please know I'm ALWAYS here for you! Again, I'm so sorry you are so down! P.S. I'm with Janemax on friends!
feliciac
i love ya dear and`i am so sorry u are having a really rough time amd feel so bad, please talk to me, send message and i will get back to you, i understand a great deal and i am kind of working my own stuff out. please keep in touch and lets help each other, sharing is caring. love, hilly.
HILLY