mrcoffee's Journal

October is inundated with Halloween movies… DUH. But I had the unfortunate experience of witnessing a film titled Zombie Stripper. A marvelous title equal to the likes of Lassie Go Home or Snakes On A Plane. Titles easy on the imagination that don’t keep you awake at night.

Unlike other high budget box office hits like Blair Witch Project and Rocky Horror Picture Show, I suspect Zombie Strippers was funded through the sales of Watkins, Boy Scout popcorn and GRIT magazine subscription. This is believable as it seems to have been written and directed by an amalgamate of ten year old boys.

This becomes painfully apparent when the early scenes open with a rag tag special ops group led by a Black Panther complete with the black beret. Uniformity was not in the script or the budget which accounted for the scantily clad buxom Latino gal placed second in command.

 The group has been sent into a scientific laboratory where experiments in near post mortem flesh have gone awry and the team equipped with high tech unreliable laser guns soon find themselves in an expendable situation. Save for a long haired young recruit who escapes out the window of a hermetically sealed facility, the team soon becomes zombie chow.

ENTER THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS.

 Every government laboratory has a shady topless bar next door, right?

The film soon lends itself to the sociological strife amongst the working girls of the bar and before you can turn the channel it’s overrun with half naked bad acting drooling blood on horny overweight middle aged men toting one dollar bills. The only things lacking for total cliché are a biker named MEAT and setting it all in Raccoon city.

If the marquee were up to me it would read:

IF YOU ONLY SEE ONE ZOMBIE STRIPPER MOVIE THIS YEAR

 DON’T MAKE IT THIS ONE