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  From SST Today

  A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE VICTORIA AIRPORT, WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO CALGARY .
  
  SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, 'I'LL GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME.'
  
  SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER NICKEL IN, OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, 'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO CALGARY .'
  
  THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLYGIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT SO SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT HER NICKEL IN, AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ:
  
  'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CALGARY AND YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE.'
  
  THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, 'I KNOW THAT IS WRONG, I HAVE NEVER PLAYED A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE.' SHE SAT BACK DOWN.
  
  FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT DOWN, PUTTING HIS FIDDLE CASE ON THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM.
  
  WITHOUT THINKING, SHE OPENED THE COWBOY'S CASE, TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE, AND STARTED PLAYING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC.
  SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE MACHINE, THINKING,
  'THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN.'
  
  BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, 'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS , YOU ARE GOING TO CALGARY AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND.' NOW SHE KNOWS THE MACHINE IS WRONG ,AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF, 'I'VE NEVER BROKEN WIND IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE.' BUT GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE SHE SLIPPED,AND AS SHE WAS STRAINING TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING TO THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.
  
  
  
  ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE. SHE SAID TO HERSELF, 'THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN.'SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE,PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL ANd ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT.
  
  
  
  IT READ, 'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CALGARY
  

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  From SST Yesterday

  Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.
  
  This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:
  
  Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
  A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
  
  Q. Where will the government get this money?
  A. From taxpayers.
  
  Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
  A. Only a smidgen.
  
  Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
  A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
  
  Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
  A. Shut up.
  
  Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
  
  * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
  * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
  * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
  * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
  * If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
  * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
  * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
  
  Instead, keep the money in America by:
  
  1 spending it at yard sales, or
  2 going to hockey/ball games, or
  3 spending it on prostitutes, or
  4 beer or
  5 tattoos.
  
  (These are the only American businesses still operating in the US ..)
  
  ***
  I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale, and drink beer! Just call me a patriot.

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  Hug

  From feisty Wednesday

  Ummmm, Send one my way...lol. Conrats. xoxo

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  Congrats

  From dreamer80 Wednesday

  I see you adopted a beagle hound. I just got a red beagle pup. I named him Mojo. ( I had just listened to the song by Jim Morrison about Mojo rising). I posted pictures of him.
  Have fun with your new addition. XOXOX Sue

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  Thanks

  From vietnam2nd Sunday

  thanks for the movie review i won't waste my time watching that film.

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