desrtrse's Journal

O K  2 months later and I have still not reached my goal. I should be done by now in all reasonable aspects but not there for no other reason than my body is just not cooperating. I am still following the plan, in fact eating 100-200 cals less a day than I should be to be loosing my 2 lbs a week but I am only loosing ounces a week. The good side is that I am not gaing and it seems some inches are falling, most frustrating is that I have been faithful and dedicated and just not loosing like I should be. I still have at least 25 lbs to loose before I will be happy and comfortable again but hope that it will happen before the end of the year is loosing ground.  Most people say I look good and should not worry about loosing the rest but I know this is not good for my body or my mind. I have gotten some weights that I now use in daily workouts for upper body boosting and it is helping but damn it feels like I am trying to swim in quicksand and cannot find the way out. People tell me it is normal to hit a plateau but this is 3 mos now and I am over it! Don't know what it will take, I can't really function on less than 1000 cals a day with all the work that i have to do everyday but I will not give up because for me, my life depends on it in so many ways. I am not willing to live a sheltered life feeling embarrassed about how I look and not fitting into normal clothes. For me the fat old ladies department is not where I will ever shop for clothes. I am happy to say that I now fit into junior jeans, a nice size 10 but still a size away from my goal. HOwever my torso is still not fitting into the rediculous tight, skimpy tops that are in the ladies department. Everytime I think that fashion can't get any uglier, it does and the clothes for this fall are really bad and yet people keep buying and wearing them.

Guess no one looks in the mirror, only at the made up air brushed models in magazines.