Join Now
Amy E 
I haven't been on here in so long. I'm in Christmas hell. Too much to do, no time. I am hating this. I usually struggle on Christmas day, I dread it. Now, I'm just feeling stressed all of the time.
I went to my church group last week and shared my lifeline. It was hard. Charting my life was a challenge. It was hard for people to hear. I could feel that. They were nice and supportive when I was done. But, it concerns me now, what will they think of me. That night I had two nightmares. One, I was bleeding to death. Everyone thought I was okay, but I knew that I was dying. The second one, I was in a prison for 20 years. I could get out, escape, but I knew that I belonged there.
Okay, the next day, my father called my house. If I wasn't having a bad enough day, he calls. I wasn't home. He left a mesage on my machine, calling me my sister's name. He said, that he wanted to hear my voice, that I know his number, and to call him. No thanks. I have enough nightmares just by retelling the past. I don't need any more shit in the present!!!
I have been stressed and anxious. I get into my car and listen to very loud music while I'm driving. That's how I deal - been doing that a long time.
