Amy E's Journal

Went to the counselor yesterday. It was a good visit, but a little hard. My mom died in November, so we were talking about that time. I did a lifeline for the church group that I'm in. It will be hard to share. We talked about how difficult my father made my life after my mom died. He moved his girlfriend in and she started wearing my mom's clothes, even her boots. He used to stick it in my face, just to get me.

My h and I aren't doing very well right now. He has been emailing me lately - just little things that he wants to remind me of. I would say that our communication isn't very good right now. He didn't get near me after I had my nose surgery. That didn't make me feel very good. I came in one night after the church group meeting and told him that I started crying when one of the other members of the group was talking. He didn't look up from the computer, and didn't ask why. I'm not really sure he was listening, even though he would say that he heard me. Like right now, I'm writing the journal, and he's sitting right next to me. I'm feeling very distant from him. I told him one night that I miss doing the communicating that we did with the one therapist. He said that he listens. I don't agree.

I went to the psychiatrist last week. He got on a soap box about my father. He thinks that I should completely let him go and get him all the way out of my life. I agree.