79pounds's Journal

Being old is true freedom (i love this poem) 

As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying something silly that I didn't need. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be silly or eccentric.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to wonderful tunes, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or when somebody's pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is sterile and will never know the joy/freedom of being imperfect and in enjoying imperfection.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many rarely laugh, and so many die before their hair changed.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. People judge you LESS when you are old and chalk up just about anything you do to the fact that you are "old". Being old is actually true freedom as long as you have your health.

(variation from sst)