Journal

I am re-entering the world of the working. I have a pre-employment physical in the morning. I am positive that I will be able to pass this physical and will start my new job as a school nurse on 4/21. Just getting through this will be a victory for me. It will give me something ot concentrate on other than the pain that I have. It has been a littel tough because I have been unable to take my pain meds because of fear of getting a job offer and having to take a urine drug test. That's what cost me the last job offer because the doctor says that if I still had to take the meds, then my knee wasn't healed enough( top that off with the fact that when he touched my knee, the joint was still warm!)

I went to church on Sunday which was a big deal for me. It made me feel good because of 2 things. The first was because I was able to pull myself out of bed, get dressed, and go. Second is that everyone was glad to see me, I felt missed. The minister's message hit home with me and I felt that I was supposed to be there on that day to hear what he had to say. Good all around Sunday for me.

Well, that's all for me for now. I am trying not to let myself feel overwhelmed. Talk to youo guys later

Deb 

I know that I have been AWOL for a long time. So much stuff is going on. I am still in pain form the knee surgery, my employer decided to do budget cut and eliminated my position while I was on medical leave, I received a job off from a big hospital here but was shot down when I couldn't pass the physical because of my knee and finally, social security will not help me out because they say I am not disabled. Whew! How do you deal with all of this and keep up a happy exterior?

I tild myself that I would stop putting up a front but, those aorund me make it a little hard to follow through with that. My mood waxes and wanes. Today, I am stressed because I need a job but I don't know how good of an employee I will be with my knee issues.  This is a scary circle that I find myself in but, I am trying to push forward. Thank you all for all of the hugs and encouragement. I really need some friends right now!