Journal

I just found out that I'm having a miscarriage.  I didn't even know that I was pregnant.  I thought I was a few weeks ago but after taking multiple pregnancy tests and even having blood work done, everything was negative.

I bled for the past week and a half and went in today.  The pregnancy test came back positive but faint.  I'm still bleeding, so it's not a good sign.  I still have to go back Friday to get another round of blood work done, so I will know for sure.  It's still possible to be a viable pregnancy, but the odds are against me.

I'm so disappointed and sad.  I wanted a baby more than anything.  All weekend, family was coming up to me and congratulating me, confusing me with my two pregnant sister in laws.  It was so depressing.  Then to find out that I was and I didn't even know...

I guess I'm grateful that I didn't find out I was pregnant until something went wrong.  I never got to be excited, so it's not quite so devestating.  But still devestating. 

I would just like to say FUCK YOU to my period.  Why did you have to come two days early?  I was just about to finish the week from hell and you showed up, sending my hormones into a flutter, my face into a break out and my mood straight to hell.  

Sorry bout that-very hormonal!