pepy's Journal

firstly, i have to say i am sorry to all my dear friends for not being there for you over the last few months.  tx and kids have just taken over my life and i've not had time for anything else.

so much has happened in my life since i last visited this site.  i feel really guilty and have felt really guilty that i havent visited and can only apologise for not getting here sooner.

i am now at week 36 of tx, exactly half way through.  woopee!  bradley, my son, is at week 5.  thankfully his biopsy was good and only showed mild portal fibrosis, so i guess he's stage 1, which is brilliant.  what a brat though! lol  he is soooooooo demanding and arrogant and bad tempered.  i'll be glad when he's finished. lol  but bless him, he is doing well and apart from the tantrams (typical teenage stuff with a bit extra cos of the tx) he copes with all the sides brilliantly.

i have had trouble with the others at school and six months ago, i took them outa school and now home educate them.  so stuff the education authority.  they are much happier at home and their behaviour has improved no end.

the old man (as in hubby) is now unemployed, frustrated, bad tempered and getting under my feet constantly.  and he still doesnt do any more in the home! lol

my oldest daughter sent me a parcel, which contained all the sentimental stuff i had ever given her and i received it on the day i started tx, telling me that she no longer wanted to be part of my family.  wowee!  that needed a bit of juggling in my head at the beginning of tx.

then, out of the blue and talk about a blast from the past, i heard something about the childrens' home in jersey that i used to be in on the radio.  there is an ongoing investigation and i am witness to one of the cases that is going on at the moment.  all the old memories came rushing back and we all now having to relive our time there.  the good thing that's come out of it tho is that i have found my family again (not blood, these ppl were more than blood) and after 40 years of not fitting in anywhere, since meeting up with my long lost friends from the home, i now have a sense of belonging and fit in somewhere at last.  it's been quite a roller coaster ride i can tell you with with array of mixed emotions, but mostly totally overwhelming.  and all whilst on tx.  WOW!  i guess all these things are sent to try us eh.  it would be good to get some respite at some point tho. lol

as for my health?  i am responding.  ZERO V/L since week 12, but cirrhosis is further developing.  they have found a lump on the liver and a spot, but cos of all this court stuff thats going on i wont know whats what til i go back in two weeks time.  i have to say that i do feel better tho.  still extremely tired, achy, headachy, confused and breathless, but prolly not so much as at the early stage of tx. 

i'm still staying strong, feel positive about getting better and definitely still smiling.  that is a necessary part of life itself, let alone good health.  i am determined as ever my friends and hope that you too stay strong.

whilst this journal sounds pretty drudgy, i am not moaning, merely explaining as to why i havent been able to get online to support all of my dear ds friends that need it.  please remember tho that even when i am not here i am thinking of you all and my prayers are always with you all.

i love you all dearly

stay strong, stay positive and no matter what, keep smiling.

pepy

xx