QuackedUp's Journal

So yesterday, I headed to Edwards AFB, CA to begin my Medical Evaluation Board process.  What a crappy ass drive that was.  I was in a government vehicle and couldn't go above 65.  It didn't matter though because the route was a bunch of hills through country.  The worst part of it is I took all the roads the truckers used.  I hope I don't have to make that trip again.

I left Vandenberg at 0845 and arrived on base at 1215.  Then found the mental health clinic at about 1230.  

(BTW Edwards in in the middle of the mojave desert.  Ain't shit out there)

Anyways,  I fill out about about 40 minutes worth of paperwork.  At one point, I got so bored of answering the same questions over and over, I had to get up and walk around.  So about 1315 (a quarter after one) I finally got to meet the psychiatrist.  

We spent about two hours going over and over my case.  She reviewed all my neuropsych evaluations and we talked about those as well.  We also talked about some of my conspiracy theories and other stuff too.  It was a good meeting.  I felt more comfortable talking with her than I do the one here at Vandenberg.

So what happens now, is she'll write a full report and send it to Randolph AFB for the board to make a decision. So I probably won't here anything until Dec or Jan.

Now, to the scary part.  

Well, she wanted me to have some lab work done.  So I headed over to the main lab, had some blood drawn.  Apparently she notice my liver function tests (LFTs) were somewhat abnormal.  She said she'd let me know if anything was wrong.

Not only have I had issues with my liver funtion tests, I've also had some abnormal CBC (complete blood count) in the past.  

Well while I was driving, back she tried to reach me three times.  I pulled over to the side of the road a little anxious about what I was going to hear.  

She told me my CBC was normal for the most part, but my liver function tests were still moderately high.

Well moderately high results during a LFT can indicate a number of things:

Hepatitis, Cirrhosis, Haemochromatosis, Cancer of the liver, Wilson's disease, Primary sclerosing cholangitis, Primary biliary cirrhosis, Budd-Chiari syndrome, Gilbert's syndrome, Glycogen storage disease type II.

She asked me to follow up and have my doctor here at Vandenberg monitor the situation.  

Now, it took them almost a year to figure out the bipolar II thing.  What happens with this?  Several of those things are fatal.  

That kind of information just increases the amount of anxiety I already have.  So what do I concentrate on?  The bipolar, the liver?

I'm so fucked up.  

My greatest fear is coming to fruition, I'm going to die alone.