why
July 17, 2009 2:32pm
why is it that someone does something wrong very wrong so wrong they dont deserve to live on this planet or even the universe any more but they just …
Progress
15 %
osbornelewis 
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About Me
osbornelewis
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About Me
i live at home with my boyfriend of 8 years and my little boy and my new baby girl. i was sexaually abused between the age of 10 and 17 years old by my grandad. it was a scarey and troumatic time for me but no one knew up until just recently and now i am going through a police investication and its bringing everything back its like living through it all again. i justfeel alone, usless and disgusted with my self so i cut my self to relieve some pain from my problemsits the only way i can cope with everyday. some times it works and others it does not. i just wish i could change myself.
i live at home with my boyfriend of 8 years and my little boy and my new baby girl. i was sexaually abused between the age of 10 and 17 years old by my grandad. it was a scarey and troumatic time for me but no one knew up until just recently and now i am going through a police investication and its bringing everything back its like living through it all again. i justfeel alone, usless and disgusted with my self so i cut my self to relieve some pain from my problemsits the only way i can cope with
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Interests
reading, music and animals but mostly dogs my fav it the husky
reading, music and animals but mostly dogs my fav it the husky
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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i am back
June 17, 2009 2:11pm
i am feeling a lot better this month i have foundn out that i am 3 month pregnant and i am very happy about that but not so happy about the simptoms …
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i feel like crap
March 26, 2009 11:00am
today is really shit i wish i was dead all my pain is strong and unbareable my head is spinning and my memories are swerling around in my head. i …
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down again
March 25, 2009 1:26pm
in fell so terrible today trying to cope but failing i just wish i was dead then i wont feel any more pain or anger. i wont have to deal with flash …
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a more happer person
February 28, 2009 1:59pm
i feel so much happer i am going to church every sunday have not missed a sunday since the beging of the year and have classes to get me ready for my …
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Hugbook
Hug
Hang in there, find someone to talk to, no that none of what happened was your fault, I really understand what your going through and its not easy. Just seek help and you will find it.
Hug
Hug
Congrats!!!! I wish the best for you!!!
Hug
How are you doing ? I have not heard from you in a while . I am sending you a big hug ! I hope to hear from you soon.
summerbaby1962-
Hug
I hope to hear from you soon and let me know how you are doing Take care ! summerbaby 1962
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Photos
osbornelewis hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Sexual Abuse
i was sexualy abused by my grandad and have trouble telling my own family what has happend to me, i am frietend of them hating me. i have been having problems with the sexual side with my boyfriend and dont know how to deal with it, he says he understands but i still feel uneasy because of my past
Treatments
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
- not sure yet
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depressioni was sexually abused at the age 11 until i was 17 years old by my grandad and verbally until my first child was born. i now have made a stament to the police but now its all out and my family know i am struggling to cope and feeling really low and most of the time wish i was dead so do not have to feel like i am reliveing what happend. i cant cope so i find my self cutting myself on purpuse so i can try and cope with normal pain. i am on antidipresents to help stop my panic attacks.
Treatments
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- positive thinking did not work as its just to painfull to think about and my thoughts are so negative i can not think straight never mind think positive
- Support from Friends & Family Too Soon to Tell
- its had to talk to my family has they are close to my abuser and i am not sure if they belive me or not and if they do they find it hard to hear.
- Writing Considering
- i have been advised to write things down how i feel and things but i dont know how tom start but i am considering it to see if it works.
Open Self-Injury
i was sexaually abused between the age of 11 -17 years old by my grandad it was a scarey and troumatic time for me but no one knew up until just recently and now i am going through a police investication and its bringing everything back its like living through it all again i justfeel alone usless and disgusted with my self so i cut my self to relieve some pain from my problems its the only way i can cope with everyday some times it works and others it does not i just wish i could change myself
Treatments
- Outpatient Treatment Program Too Soon to Tell
- i am about to start therapy so i dont know if it will work or not
Open Anxiety
i have suffered from anxiety since i was abused as a child and now i am unable to go out and mix with anyone with out haveing a anxiety attack. when i have an attack i feel like pepole are staring at me and thinking that i am a freak which makes it worse.
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- sometimes it helps and other times it takes it toll and i just feel like i am having a heart attack i can't breath and i feel like i am sufficating.
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- how can you think possitive when you are panicing and unable to breath and feeling like you are dieing
Open Other Ear Problems
well where do i start i am 25 and have terrible iner ear infections since i was a baby it seems to go away then a week or its back but worse then before they are now talking about operations to see if that will correct the problem. the pain at times is unbearabule.i wish it would just go away
