sassybp's Journal

So far my summer has fucking sucked! We have probably had a week without rain since the first of June. My Grandpa died. My Dad is losing his mind because of it...and my best friend doesn't give a shit. Or I guess is incapable of sympathy.

So I'am pissed off, crying, sick to my stomach, and I want to hit someone really fucking hard! Conveniently that person lives to far away!

I'am really hurting. I'am trying really hard to not hurt myself. It's been a long time since I have felt this way. I hate taking valiums because I don't like being out of it. But I don't know how else to calm my mind and my nerves. I haven't even been able to sleep with the valiums. Not good for a bi-polar.

All I can do is wait it out and hope I can get some control back over my thoughts. If I can keep from doing something I will regret. Things should be ok. I'm lucky I have a husband who knows how to help me. I would of been dead a long time ago without him.

Ok...I feel a little better. For a while anyway. Every bit helps.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Jolene