Journal

Who knew watching fish on your computer could be theraputic. I have started playing Fishville on Facebook and for some reason it really cheers me up when I take care of them. They also have Farmville. It has alot of cool things you can do. It's pretty sad that we have gone from having real farming to farming online. Kinda sad. My grandpa had a huge farm with a huge house. There was always something fun to do around his place. Alot of good memories of that place. Not all of my childhood was bad and I need to hold on to that.

Have you ever noticed that when people are left without rules or consequence they always tend to do mean or bad things or fight. Like "Lord of the Flies" it's like without order we all become primitive psychotic animals. Even if we have the knowledge and intelligence to know better we seem to lose it if not kept in check.

Why do you think that is?

Anyway things are going well for all of us. It has been a long week. I was hoping to have my husband for the weekend but his sister swiped him up. She needs him to help paint and tile the basement that they just finished. Yes, I'am a little pissed. He will be gone all day today and stuck to the tv tomorrow watching football. I just really miss spending "quality" time with him. I'm not blaming him. Our lives are just very busy and it seems to get busier everyday.

Life was a piece of cake when the kids were babies. They were on a tight routine, they didn't understand what you were saying, and you could give them a cardboard box for Christmas and they would be elated.

Now they don't listen, you have to talk in code, and they want everything their friend's have.

I have decided Christmas is like making an extra house payment every year. Money is tight this year which makes the holiday very unenjoyable. It really sucks when all of your sibling have to one up each other with what they got for Mom and Dad too. My Dad is very hard to please. I try not to let it get to me, but it hurts when he actually complains that it wasn't quite what he would of picked out. Just shoot some nails through my heart. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't hurt as bad. I really need grow a thicker skin.

I really don't know where I'am going with this. I guess I'm just venting. So I'am going to go.

Luv ya all!

Jolene

Things have been pretty calm. I'm feeling really good. I get to see my new Pdoc next Weds. I just hope I'am comfortable with him. I haven't had much energy, but I'm pretty sure it's because my thyroid is low. I should of had it tested 3 months ago. The lithium messes with it. It's annoying.

Kris has had meetings all week. So he has had the car. It really sucks to be stranded without a car. I did go to a biking class last night. I did really well considering I haven't gone for 2 months. My ass is killing me though. You can't get around that, those seats suck.

I did my sister's nails today. I had to listen to her talk about how bad she wants to be with this other guy. She told her husband about him about 3 days ago. So now he wants to see a lady he likes at his job. The whole situation is so fucked up. My sister keeps telling her 16yr old daughter all kinds of things she wants to do with this guy and then tells her not to tell her dad. I know her husband isn't perfect, but I think he made up the story about the other lady to see my sister's reaction. Her daughter is a wreck and there is nothing I can do. My sister was at my house for 4hrs. I was emotionally drained after she left. I would never want to be in that position. It's just so terrible.

So anyway, I only have the strength to take care of me and my family right now and we are doing pretty good.

Jolene

I'm doing pretty good. I still feel lost but I'am dealing with it a little better. Not much to report. Husband and I had a bit of a fight the other night, but we are doing better now.

After parent teacher conferences we let the kids buy some stuff at the book fair with the money they saved in their piggy banks. My 7yr old son had $66 dollars in his piggy bank. He has been stashing it from his b-day, the tooth fairy, and whatever he could find in the post office. I mail alot of books. I think that tooth fairy is a little to generous. My daughter's were like, that's not fair. So we did have them divide up all their money so it was even and then whatever was left over was divided and put back in the piggy banks.

Anyway they all got some really cool books and seem pretty happy with them. I on the other hand, have not read a good book for a long time. I just haven't had very good luck with the one's I have ordered on Ebay. I usually have really good luck. It sucks.

Kris has to work tomorrow. Which sucks because he is exhausted and only gets one day off and is back to work for another week. He has been working like crazy this week. He has no time to talk at all. I understand, but I think it is frustrating for both of us. We have gotten so used to talking several times a day that I think we took it for granted. Oh shit, we have to make the house payment today. There goes his paycheck. I hate our economy. Grocery shopping is a joke. They have found ways to shrink everything and then charge you the same or more money for it. Our food is not going as far as it used to. With 3 growing kids it is not going to get any better.

Well I'm gonna go. Take care everyone...

Jolene