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  OJewel (03/30/09)

  Hi Chantal, How are you these days? I hope well, Jewel
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  OJewel (03/24/09)

  Hello Chantal! Write me and tell me how you are these days!((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))Jewel
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  OJewel (10/21/08)

  Hi Chantal! How are you doing?
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  OJewel (08/28/08)

  Peace be with you today.
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  OJewel (08/18/08)

  Hi Chantal-How are you these days? I hope you have a peaceful day today.
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  OJewel (08/14/08)

  Hope you have a good day today.
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  OJewel (08/11/08)

  How are you doin?
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  OJewel (08/06/08)

  Hope all is well these days..How are you?
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  Yolande (05/21/08)

  Dear Chantal, My mother is dead but I give her credit for making me phobic. Moving out may be the best thing you ever did if she is part of your low self esteem. Seek out a network of supportive friends and make them the family you always needed. Lose the friends who don't support you or feed into your low self esteem. It's a long climb up but that's part of the process. Good Luck. Yolande
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  Yolande (05/21/08)

  I applaud you for declaring you are facing your phobia. At least you are out of the denial phase! Applaud yourself for being courageous too! I've been there, done that and I'm 57. It took years of trying everything!!! Falling off the horse and getting back on it is what worked. I used hypnosis tapes, lots of driving lessons, positive visualization, read about phobias and how not to reinforce them. Avoided the negative people. Practiced, practiced, practiced. I made lots of mistakes. You can't let those stop you entirely. Now they have anti-anxiety drugs - didn't get to try those. I felt the fear and did it anyway as the book says. I had my stick converted to an automatic. I bought a safer car. I didn't do freeways at first or left turns! I was in fender benders and freaked, I had car troubles and freaked but somehow lived through it. I even was in accidents. I paniced all over the place. But I expanded my baby steps and kept pushing onward and outward after set back after set back. Baby steps and increasing your circular range little by little is part of the key. Even got my share of speeding tickets. The worst was explaining to an officer why I blew a water pump in a bad neighborhood at midnight and what was I doing there. "Well officer, I was just praciticing my driving because the traffic is so light at this hour!" It was embarassing but I don't lie well. He still thought I was lying because I was around 40 then. So I told him, "Why would I lie about something that embarassing?" It took years with no real professional help or much money. But I did it. I even was rear ended recently and had a serious back injury that I have surgically recovered from. Does that keep me from driving now? No! Does that keep me off the freeways in L.A.? No! I need to be out there with the rest of the world. I lived a sheltered, bus dependent and friend dependent life for years and was miserable! It was humiliating and left me vulnerable to controlling boyfriends. I was imprisoned by my phobia. I hated myself for letting how I thought about myself. It's not rational but overcoming the self hate and overcoming the phobia was worth everything I had to endure to get there. It's survival in the city. Take lots of defensive driving, get AAA, a good car and good insurance. It's all you really have control over. The rest is up to you and God. Don't quit. Don't beat yourself up. It's ok to take a break but never give up completely. If I can overcome what seemed impossible, you can too with persistence and desire. Yolande

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