Irene777's Journal

so much has happened where do i begin....

Well... mom's cancer is really bad.. she is very weak and has decided that she wants no more chemotherapy... she is practically bedridden now....she has lost so much weight she is unrecognizable..... she has already started to hand out some of her personal belongings to everyone....and has had a one on one talk with everyone.. except me. when I go to visit.. I dont stay long enough in the room for a long talk... I still cannot come to grips that I am losing my mother to this damn cancer.... I know in my heart and mind that my mom will probably not make it through this year.... its just that I feel cheated out... my daughter was cheated out from the most wonderfulest, greatest experiences with her grandmther.. I got cheated out on that mother to mother bond.. being that this was my first baby.... there will be no grandma visits or trips to the park or zoo.. her baptizim, her 1st birthday....none of that...

My dear darling Olivia will be 4 months this saturday and my is she growing.. she is 11 1/2 lbs and is going strong.. she starts to babble like she is really having a conversation with you and its soo cute... she wants to start to pull herself up to sitting position and is so much alert now of her surroundings...she still is coliky and fussy... but I am praying that will go away REAL soon!

and my arthritis.. well still no good.. pain is unbearbale in the feet, ankles, wrists.. so rhumy said we are starting Humira injections ASAP so I had my 1st one today.. not sure if its just me but I do feel alot better....could be wishful thinking.. he said if the Humira injections work, you will be almost good as new by 4th of July.. yippie!

thanks for letting me share

Irene