foxfacebrian's Journal

  I'm struggling...  I discovered this site today, and well, hearing such positive feedback from others in the same boat as me has helped me a lot...  I'm past the horrible anger part, now I'm into the "I'm sad, why'd this happen to me" stage...  I have a lot of unanswered questions, but I just don't know if it's right to go into them with her...  After confronting her and showing her my pain, she's become emotionally unstable at hurting me and well, I'm afraid that if I push the inquiry, she might slip over the deep-end...  I'm struggling with it day to day, I don't drink like I did the first day, boy, I tore up a whole bottle of Jack Daniels, not a pretty mixture by the way, don't recomend that strategy, ha...  I'm on a emotional roller coaster and it's affecting the healing process with her...  One minute I'm ready to move on with it, told her that it's in the past and to move on, the next I'm overcome by sudden anger and ready to start an argument with her, the next I'm on the verge of tears, and a few other emotions, then it starts all over again...  I want to get past this part and I would like to know how others did it themselves...  I need to be stable in my own thoughts and mind in order to best confront and solve this terrible issue...  I'm newly wed and this is a terrible way to start things out, but I belive in her, I love her and would love nothing more than to trust her, to believe that she can change, that it was just a mistake... Day by day, is the only way...