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foxfacebrian 
Things are going a little smoother... Me and her are communicating everyday while she's on deployment now, and we're steering away from the topic, either cause we've beat it to death and theres nothing else to talk about, or cause I just get a little emotional when we discuss it and it turns into a fight... When is the best time to let a sleeping dog sleep?
Anyways, I finished my first weekend of the Navy Reserves here locally, it was pretty fun, I think it really helped me to get back around people that have been through the same navy experiences I've been through, I've been feeling better cause of it anyways, takes my mind offa lot...
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Opps, I should've made a journal entry instead of a comment, ha, I'm trying to get used to this, hahaha, this is new to me...
Well, another day down... I was unable to sleep last night, but this site managed to help me out with all of that... Today she leaves Guam and heads back out to sea with "him"... That means that she won't be able to call me for a long time, we'll only be able to communicate over the computer and well, doing so during such a time isn't the best thing for us, we need to see eachother, but I just have to bite my lip and let the Navy take my wife away from me again and see if she's still there when she gets back... She promised to stay away from him, and I think it might be possible cause his wife also knows about the event and well, they're relationship together is rather strained and I'm hopeing that just might be the extra push to ensure that they stay apart... I'll never know for sure what's happenening out there, I just have to trust her word and believe her, which is hard, but if I want this to work, then that's just what I have to do... I need to be strong, I'm still emotional, but I need to pull myself together... The Navy is such a hard life... All in the name of service to our country and continueing freedom, I'm paying a high price, but to fight our horrible enemies, my sacrifice is just but a small one and I wouldn't change it for the world...
I'm struggling... I discovered this site today, and well, hearing such positive feedback from others in the same boat as me has helped me a lot... I'm past the horrible anger part, now I'm into the "I'm sad, why'd this happen to me" stage... I have a lot of unanswered questions, but I just don't know if it's right to go into them with her... After confronting her and showing her my pain, she's become emotionally unstable at hurting me and well, I'm afraid that if I push the inquiry, she might slip over the deep-end... I'm struggling with it day to day, I don't drink like I did the first day, boy, I tore up a whole bottle of Jack Daniels, not a pretty mixture by the way, don't recomend that strategy, ha... I'm on a emotional roller coaster and it's affecting the healing process with her... One minute I'm ready to move on with it, told her that it's in the past and to move on, the next I'm overcome by sudden anger and ready to start an argument with her, the next I'm on the verge of tears, and a few other emotions, then it starts all over again... I want to get past this part and I would like to know how others did it themselves... I need to be stable in my own thoughts and mind in order to best confront and solve this terrible issue... I'm newly wed and this is a terrible way to start things out, but I belive in her, I love her and would love nothing more than to trust her, to believe that she can change, that it was just a mistake... Day by day, is the only way...
That is one dog that is not going to go to sleep until the reason as to why it happned is figured out. Then it may be a hard dog to tame since the foundation of a relation is trust especialy in your situation where there is such a huge distance between you. The question you need to be asking yourself is will you ever trust her again. that is when you will know if that dog can be put to sleep. Good Luck to you!!
rhonda378