catlover02's Journal at DailyStrength.org

Comments

Thank you very much for this journal entry. I hope more and more people read it. Actually, I will refer many people. You made yourself very understood in your entry. I'm thinking you may be repeating yourself a lot because you can't think of anything else to say. Could that be true? I will help you in anyway I can, sweetie. It is very difficult to understand someone else's boundaries unless you cross them. I've been through this before. I'm sure this is something that makes you cry, but you have no idea ahead of time what their boundaries are ... unless they tell you.

My younger son's Asperger's wasn't diagnosed until he was an adult ... but he was in special Ed. part-time when he was in 1st through 12th grade. I don't know how it helped, but he is working at being a special ed. teacher himself.

I don't know what you can do about the crying. It sounds as if your feelings are hurt very easily ... especially when you think you said or did the wrong thing. We all say and do wrong things, but I know it is harder for you to accept. However, I know you are a good person.
peace and love ... Kyle Anne

aubleeanna

Dawn, before I met you, I looked up Asperger's once and read a LITTLE bit about it. You are the first person I have personally encountered with Asperger's and I did not know it at the time. I was totally ignorant of what it is as well as your having it. AT first, I gave you no regard, and I am sorry. I would not intentionally hurt you for any reason. I am glad you have explained it so well in your journal. I do not ignore you .. I am sometimes not at my computer. When we chat, sometimes it takes you a long time to type anything, and I think you must be distracted or I run out of time and have to go. I am happy to be your friend, .. I am mega stupid about Asperger's, have no experience in relating to someone with Asperger's, and am very clumsy about it. That does not mean I do not like you. I do like you and want you to be happy. I am just ignorant. I will try to remember what you have said here. I will try to be the good friend I would like to be.
I am sure you are hurt frequently by people who do not understand. There is no way to know you have difficulty until you say so, or it is sensed, and by then you are probably hurt. I am very sorry about that. I do not know how to protect you from that. I am sure it is a constant problem, and I think it is dreadful that you must deal with it. I AM your friend, and care about you very much. I would like to help you solve the problems, but I am not qualified. I can only be the best friend to you I can be, and I will try to do that. WV

WanderingVet

Well done Dawn! This is really good. =)

Zophie

Ditto Ditto Ditto and Double Ditto Zophe ! Dawn, That was an excellent journal entry. You did super well and I think you did better than the experts at explaining what an aspie feels! Good Job Dawn!!
Thank you for enriching my life, Thank you for teaching me!
Love, MJ Proud to be your friend !

MJG

Dawn your so cool.Your so like me its funny lol i think in black and white.And i bet any money that u have a very hight IQ.When i looking at tv i can't have any distractions,or when i'm clean don't get in my way.I also cant remember things.My dad is the same.He cant remember things.He also gets really frustrated.WE have ADD.I also have Dyslexia and ADHD.
PLEASE DONT PUT YOURSELF DOWN.YOU ARE A UNIQUE PERSON WHO HAS A INCREDIBLE SELF-AWARENESS.SO MANY PEOPLE DONT HAVE THAT.I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I CARE ABOUT YOU.I'M ALSO SORRY THAT I HAVE NOT BEING HERE FOR YOU.Im still sick :( Lots of love your friend viv xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

vivienne9443

Your a very special lady. We all have our challeges in life, so don't feel bad. We all get through everything with the help of God. As long as you keep your faith in Him, your be just fine. And don't feel bad about not having friends, many don't. If they want to get to know you, and don't like you, that's their problem not yours! Because your a great person with a wounderful heart. Hugs to you!

Flybirds

Its great you have written this journal. it will help us to understand more about how you are! I think it is great you have your own appartment too and that you have a good friend who looks out for you!!

lesmagee

Yes I agree with the others..this is a great journal for us to get to understand you more...God Bless ...:):)

stardust

Thank you everyone for responding to my journal and for caring so much about me! aubleanna, I might be repeating myself because I can't think of anything to say. Thank you for refering more people to read this journal. Yes, my feelings are hurt easily. I am really glad that I was able to help you all by reading my journal. I also get really frustrated easily. Sometimes I will have a big meltdown because I get really frustrated and misunderstood. Dawn

catlover02

That is a very good journal entry. Very informative and I as really appreciate you writing all this out about yourself. I would not want to hurt you either. This will help us both:)

Dixe4me

You were made in God's image and don't forget that! I do appreciate you writing this :) I think you're great! My son and I both have some of these characteristics too but not as much as you do. For instance I don't always say the right things in social situations and so I've gotten social anxieties. My son is the opposite he doesn't say appropriate things or read non verbal communication but he keeps on going LOL which works for him because people think he is just brutally honest. He and I both do things in a certain order every day, but not every thing. He also gets things stuck in his head and won't let it go until he does it :) I'm very glad to be your friend! have a great day! with love, Carolyn

cypher

oops my cat stepped on my computer keyboard LOL

cypher

Carlolyn, Your cat might have been helping you type. Your cat probably thinks that you need help. I also have a hard time understanding facial expressions and body language. I don't understand when someone is joking or when someone is serious with me. I have a hard time knowing what is real and what isn't real on t.v. Dawn

catlover02

I think you are right about the cat :) Most of the stuff on TV is not real :)

cypher

What you wrote opened my eyes more for the sake of my son.I have read about aspergers and have been with my child but he is only 5 and have always wondered about why he acts or does certain things.Hearing form you helped me to see that it is the aspergers and that it isn't in my head as so many people have once told me.I am glad that you wrote this entry.Thank you!Tee

looking4help2

I have HFA too and I can totally relate to a lot of your entry. I wish I could learn how to not make people mad, too. It is so scary sometimes, feeling like a bad person without ever having bad intentions, just because of how some people have reacted in the past. It creates a fear that I can't talk about with many people, because it is too far outside of their understanding. I would love to talk with you more, and share with you anything I have learned. Message me anytime, or my aol instant message screen name is boethius331

sally20

I loved this entry, Dawn. You are a very bright and sensitve woman. I am glad you are my friend.
big hugs...

dsoucy

From one "20 questions" kid to another, all I can say is hang in there, I'll do my best if you will. {{hugs}}

freeinspirit

you are a gem, a true inspiration! hang in there, you do matter and what you do matters!

mimi826

wonderful journal. You & my daughter are so much alike! You have beena able to explain things about her that she cannot - Thank you!!

Love you!
Mom

ckissner

dawn this is a great entry. this is also what i am trying to do is help people understand what it is like. i have autism but aspergers and autism are alot of the same. infact it is in the same spectrum. could you please copy paste this journal into Autism Exposure? i think the people there could really learn from this. thank you! hugggggggggggs, your friend Melody.

MelodyRain

It is always good to have someone who can explain the way autistic minds work, my daughter tends to repeat things too...YOu are always welcome to chat with me...I do get busy sometimes, its not personal life happens.thanks for being so informative....

michaux42

Hi Dawn! :) We'll always be here for you angel! :) You are a wonderful person, everyone is unique and very special in our very own way, and no one will judge you here. We all are in this together, and are always a message away. :) It's so very nice getting to know you. :) You will always have our support, 100%. :) always be yourself. :)

Chris1981

hi dawn,everyone has there own way,and ur a good person,keep working on u,hugs liz

rockbabe

Thanks for sharing your story Dawn. You have a good heart and thats all I need to know about you. Excuse me if I'm a little slow responding at times, fighting a real melancholy mood lately.

Rigil13

i know how it is not to have alot of friends i had at least 3 friends i was mad fun of when i was a kid im sorry that we cant cate my chat is missed up thats why my mom is suppost to give me a better computer cause this one dose not work wright but we can seand meesges to one anthere i like what you wrote thank you for shearing your story dawn it reminde me of me when i was a kid but i dont have aspergers syndrum but one thing is for shore i understand about not haveing alot of friends

hlep

You sound very much like my 14-year-old son, who is also a member here. He was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 8. Like you, there is no grey or middle ground. Everything is taken literally. When he was five, I read him a storybook at bedtime about the first Easter and I got to the part where it talked of Jesus paying for our sins. He looked at me like I was the dumbest person on the face of the planet and without missing a beat said, "Mom, how could Jesus pay for our sins? He didn't have any money!" At times Jordan (that's my son's name) comes across as rude because he doesn't take the time to think about what comes out of his mouth..he just speaks his peace. He acts first and thinks later..he is impulsive. He doesn't have a lot of friends but he's well liked at school and from what his teachers have told me he's really coming into his own there (Jordan attends a local charter school). There are some things Jordan worries about (he's more of a worrier than actually being fearful) and there are some areas academically, such as math, where he struggles but there are plenty more areas where he shines! I'll bet you are the same way! I feel privileged to have been asked to read this! Hang in there, kiddo! You're not alone!

AngeGirl2007

Dawn, as I read I feel like you describing my son. Everyone here has given great advice. Do your best that's all you can do. I'm here if you need me or have an questions. Your journal entry is perfect! My son often asks the same question over and over because he is actually looking for another answer but is trying to figure out how to work it. Each time he gets an answer but if it's not what he's looking for he "tweeks" or changes his question just a little bit. There is no harm in asking questions.
I don't know where you live or what your situation is but do you know there are colleges out there that offer programs to help students with Asperger's Syndrome right on campus. They not only help with class studies and such but they also work with social skills and integrating and guiding you through college. I have looked at a few online. I know there is one in Huntington, WV at Marshall University and I thought someone told me there was one in New York or up North somewhere. Check it out. There is a world of opportunity just waiting for you!

MarciFree

You are a very sweet girl. And your journal entry is easy to understand. You seem to be able to get ideas across just fine. Alot of people have some of your problems and they don't have what you have. And if someone is impatient with you, don't let it bother you too much, some people are like that. Thank you for this entry. It is very well written. Love from Ginny

ginnycat

Thank you for allowing us to know you better. You are a wonderful, sweet person.

MawBear2

That sounds alot like how things were for me growing up. Thanks for posting about this.

tshudyb

hi hunnie well let me say thankyou first and foremost i believe it is wonderful for laying it all out on the table not many people know or understand this. i apologize for how people have treated u in the past...to sum up everything im thinking is just be urself people can either accept u for it or not...there will always be people out there that do not like u for one silly reason or another but do not let that stop u just keep striving! i know u will do ur best and i have faith that u wont let these people get in ur way u can do anything u put ur mind to just take time and learn from things u didnt like in the past...if u need anything im here for u!!

lova ya
CC

ccparker

I can totally relate to your journal entry. I take things literally. I think in black and white. I tend to annoy people by asking too many questions. And I'd imagine that you have a very high IQ. I'm also glad to have you as a friend.

userwolf1898

Dawn, hello I read your journal for the 19th. I am a very patient and understanding person, so you wont ever upset me. Dont worry about that. I am sorry you were made fun of and suffer from the past. My son is pretty severe and I am sure he will be made fun of also. Its sad that school is like that. Be thankful for the good qualities you do have. Try not to worry what others think of you. Be thankful you finally found some people who understand you. Its ok to be a slow learner. I am horrible at certain things like math. I never could understand algebra and probably never will. You can still learn new things even if it takes longer. Reading is a wonderful tool to use to learn. If you really want to go to college you can always try it. There should be some way for you to get someone to help you with that. I am not sure what kind of programs that are available, but you might want to find one. I am happy to be your friend!

Wellawaremom

Thank you Dawn for directing me here to your Journal. My middle son who is 9 years old has aspergers and I can relate to a lot of what you describe here with him. I like how you explain how things are from your perspective. It gives me a glimpse of what he is going thru since he cannot express it as well as you have done here. :)

FloridaFather

hi dawn my youngest was thougt to have asbergers still not sure==contact me anytime and i have a lot of patience--keep up the good forward motion

darryl131

remember we all deal with something here and the same patience you ask for some of us need as well. I take people at their word too and it hurts me when the don't keep it.

hopeisalive

Hi Dawn!
One of the things I noticed that you mentioned in your journal was that there are a lot of things you are good at. Can you share them? The reason I mention is because one of the key things in life is finding out what your strengths are, and focusing on them and taking them to the next level. For example, there is a reality tv show on the network Bravo, called "Flipping Out"
The main character is Jeff Lewis who has obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
OCD makes his career a perfect match, it truly plays to his strengths.
Wishing you a good weekend ahead.

Cherrios

Thank you everyone for your support and your encouragement! What is the difference between Asperger's and autism? What is the difference between Asperger's and HFA? dsoucy, You are right, I am a sensitive person. hlep, I am really glad that you and I can relate to each other about not having many friends. tshudb, I am really glad that you were able to relate to me about your life growing up. Cherrios, I am really good at computers, but not usually fixing them. I am really good at spelling and reading. I have a really good memory. I am good at details. I am good at cleaning. I also have OCD too.

catlover02

Thank you so much for sharing. I can really relate.

Landrocket

My 8 year old nephew has Apergers Syndrome. We are very close and he spends almost everyweekend with me to give his mom a break. You really gave me an insight into his world. I love him dearly and only want to make his life easier and better.

PeachesInGa

You need a support psychologist and if possible a psychiatrist. Yes, I have both. But still, I can't imagine going thru life, wondering or in the dark so to speak. In your locale you must find some professional psych-docs to keep you on a regime. Regular visits, which would log a consistent progress or CONVERSELY, a back-sliding report. The psyche development and intellectual development goes hand in hand with your spiritual identity and psychological development is the key. Learn more about life on planet earth, in MIND, BODY and SPIRIT.

stevo

Dawn, I also have difficulties with boundaries and being misunderstood. But you know what - you are who you are. Don't be ashamed of it. Everyone is different, and you have so many lovely qualities. You are open and honest and you don't try to be something you're not. You're just totally out there, as yourself. And that is great.

Your entry is inspiring. Maybe I will do the same sometime, and write about my own experience of having Aspergers. People seem to find it interesting and helpful to read.

silentstar

Dawn, this is awesome. I know a lot of folks on here frequently ask "How much should I tell people?" and I've always answered "As much as you think they should or need to know." It can be hard to figure just how much that is, but one can usually tell by the kinds of difficulties one has with others. Some of our traits don't bother some people. Some don't even notice them. If that's the case, then it probably isn't necessary to tell them about those traits, only the ones that sometimes cause difficulties.

Some don't agree with me that telling people is the best thing to do. I agree that sometimes it doesn't help, but from my own experience it only doesn't help when the person you tell simply doesn't care anyway. No, it doesn't help with them, but it does help with people who do care, and you don't always know who those people are until you do tell them. If they don't care, telling them doesn't really change much of anything. If they do, it usually does help a lot!

I just sent a letter very similar to your entry here, to an aunt of mine. I wasn't getting along with here very well, and was getting pretty angry with her. The letter helped her understand why some things she said were making me mad. We get along far better now that she understands my AS better.

Good for you Dawn! This is a great step for you!

SentientParadox

Thank you so much everyone for the journal comments. HUGS everyone. PeachesinGa, I am really glad that I was able to give you some insight on what it's like to have Asperger's.

catlover02

You have got the most comments I have ever seen on a blog entry lol...

My daughter has got asperger...A lot of what you said I can relate to her...

Thank you for sharing...Love Karen x

echoe1

You definately are an inspiration girl, and don't you forget it! Look at all your friends on here...you are liked just as you are! In school kids are always made fun of...I went thru that too! I was too this or too that or my clothes were not cool or something always something! And I went on to become a cheerleader and was in track and field, also choir and gymnastics...still there were people who could be cruel! i was not real popular (my choice), even tho I was in those things! I liked who i felt were real people! Just like you and me Dawn! One of my BF's was a special ed student. She was one of the most loving people I knew!!!

frndsrgldn

Thank you echoe and frndsrgldn for your comments. echoe, I am really glad that you can relate to your daughter from what I said. Dawn

catlover02