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paperdoll08 
I hate to be such a debbie downer, but I'm completely burned out on ideas of how to stay positive about recovery. I can't even make it a week without binging. And the days I don't binge, I'm thinking about it. I've started having these horribly upsetting dreams where I am binging, and it feels so real, I wake up in the morning feeling as sad and worn down as if I'd have really binged. It's really upsetting. I swear I can't handle it. I'm just horribly upset with the cycle I'm in right now. I feel like no matter what I do, I can't kick it. I'm also afraid that my marriage might be contributing to my unhappiness. We've only been married two months, and I know we're still getting to know each other, but its been hard. He and I are completely different communicators, and I don't know how to convey to him that I need a little more interaction. It makes me unhappy when he chooses to play on his iphone, rather than chit chat with me. It may sound silly, but it hurts my feelings when its a reoccuring theme. I've talked to him about it and he says I always give him a hard time about being on his phone (or otherwise engaged), and he doesn't know when I'm really serious about it. UMMM all the time? It just bothers me. I don't know what else to say about it other than I don't know how to help him understand how it makes me feel.
Anyways, I could bitch and moan forever, but I should get going. Ugh. Hope tomorrow is better.
