Journal

I haven't been here in nearly two months.  And it's december...the month of amny losses and anniversaries.

This will be the first Christmas w/o my step-dad.  The second w/o my MIL, the third w/o my mom. 

My brother-in-law is going though the long, difficult process of being accepted to have a lung transplant.  My sisters' heart problems continue to progress.

This morning, my daughter and her fiance's car broke down on their way to wirk, so I had to rush out with tools for them.  Now, she has my car.  (I don't mind that though).

Over the past two weeks, we have gotten hints and tips that my son and his wide are having serious marriage difficulties.   She can be a very sweet girl, but is very stubborn, and immature at times, and everything is always "my way or the hioghway."

Due to econimic times, and constant repairs with my sosn' car or the house, he took on a part time job.  He works his ft job 40 hours a week, and the pt one anywhere from 15 to 35 hours a week.

SInce so many people don't have work at all, he feels blessed and wants to work all thehours he can, to better their situation.

His pt boss asked him to work a few hours on Christmas morning.  His wife went bulistic and told him that if he did, he would be "looking for a new place to live!"  He works, she spends.  She has a new car, his is 10 years old with 190,000 miles on it, and is always breaking down.

On her days off, she goes where she wants and does what she wants.  On his days off, he cleans, does laundry and is expected to have dinner on the table when she gets home.  Then, she criticises what he cooked or how he cooked it.  They have been married for under 3 years.

He is stressed and heartbroken.  It's his second marriage, and the first wife was worse than this one.

We are supposed to all get together for Christmas, but I can't imagine what it will be like.

She has been calling me and sending me messages on "my space" trying to sell her self as the "whipped little puppy" who hasn't done anything wrong.  I listen to her, try to show her compassion, and try to encourage her to be gentler on him, and not pick so many fights over such rediculous things.  On the other hand, my son has our complete support.  He went through hell the first time, and barely escaped with his life, we don't want to see this happen again.

So much turmoil, amongst so much grief.  I gettig too old and too tired for all of this nonsense.  Hubby and I are about to celebrate our 33rd wedding anniversary.  Why can't my kids have what we have?

since I journalled here.  I have not taken the time to use the computer much.

My daughter is doing well at healing and adjusting to her extensive dental surgery.  She is now engaged, and she and Rob are planning a July 2009 wedding, so there is lots to do!

My sweet brother-in-law, Bruce is in thehospital with Pnuemonia, which is a complication of the Pulmonary Fibrosis.  He and Liz were to go out to dinner with frineds for their 39th anniversary on September 27th, but he was too sick to go.  He was also in the process of having tests for a lung transplant, but now that has been put on hold.  He had such a great summer, but the cold, damp fall is not good for him.  Here it is Saturday evening, and I haven't heard from Liz since Tuesday.  I have left messages on her machine.

My PT is going well, but I have a long way to go, and nearly out of paid visits by my health insurance so I don't know what is going to happen there.

I have been taking Reiki once a week for about 3 months now, and I think the depression and anxiety have decreased a lot.  I look forward to going, and practice it at home now.  It by no means interferes with my Christianity though, nothing will ever change my faith there.

Rainbow