I guess it's come to this. …
I guess it's come to this. I've now lost complete control over the most important thing: my mind. It's …
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MinnesotanMommy 
10:41pm Thursday
I might be gone temporarily. I need some space from this place...laxatives are finding their way back into my life ever so slowly and I can't allow that to happen anymore, I'm spinning out of control, so I may be going to stay at a friend's house for a few days to just sort myself out, reground myself, get back on track. It's a lot of things going on...I'd rather not go into it and depress myself anymore then I already have been today. I was crying at 7 this morning already because Carl had me so upset...I just can't keep it up or I'm going to crumble underground and I'm not willing to do that, so, to keep fighting, I'm going to be with a friend for a couple of days to get my head straightened out. I already talked to Carl and he's fine with it, said it's okay, that he'll be here when I get back. I'm lucky he's so patient with me...I will have my cell phone on me, for anyone who wants/needs to reach me, and I'll be on MSN and Yahoo daily on and off at my friend's house. I'll check in here in case someone wants/needs me (which isn't too often). Just wanted to update you guys on what's up...that I'm having some problems and am in the process of sorting them out. I'm trying to be proactive with my mental health and doing whatever it takes to be healthier. So, that's what I know...until later my dearest friends.
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Space is good but just remember that you can't run from your problems forever. Sometimes the best way to learn to cope with our everyday problems is to face them headon in the environment that we are constantly living in. Carl and Ethen both need you and running away everytime that you feel overwhelmed is not helping them. You need to learn to deal with life on life's terms.
I am not scolding you and please don't think that I am. Being proactive is not running away from problems but facing them head on. You have a great treatment team. Use them to help you get better. You need to look how your leaving everytime that something upsets you is affecting Carl and Ethen. Ethen needs his mother at home not at a friends house. You will not crumble underground just because things don't go your way. Get over it and move on. Carl's patience is going to run out and one of these times you are going to leave and he won't be there when you get back.
You do what you have to do but just remember life is what it is and it isn't always perfect. Learn to live in those times that are good as well as those times that are bad.
Love ya my friend. Take care.
Debbie
SUNSETYELLOW