Desensitized?
November 17, 2009 12:08pm
Am I just overreacting about what happened with Mat? Every time I try to talk to someone about it, they reply, "That sucks", as if I …
Progress
10 %
Seddah
12:03am Friday
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About Me
Seddah
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About Me
I'm 22 years old. I'm the middle child in my family. I have an older sister and a younger brother. I've recently graduated from university with a BA in Music for vocals. I love music, writing, singing, drumming, gaming, and reading. I love hanging out with my friends. My friends are my support system. Music is an outlet and a kind of support system itself.
I'm 22 years old. I'm the middle child in my family. I have an older sister and a younger brother. I've recently graduated from university with a BA in Music for vocals. I love music, writing, singing, drumming, gaming, and reading. I love hanging out with my friends. My friends are my support system. Music is an outlet and a kind of support system itself.
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Interests
My interests are varied, but the ones that never change are music, reading, writing, hanging out with my friends, doing random stuff like driving down to the boardwalk at 11 at night, and creating any kind of art.
My interests are varied, but the ones that never change are music, reading, writing, hanging out with
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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4 hugs given, 4 hugs received, 2 journal posts, 1 discussion post
Friday
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Seddah updated their status 12:03am
Is it wrong to miss him?…
Wednesday
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Seddah gave godave a hug 12:20pm
Thank you so much for being so nice and supportive. Your comment made me feel so much better. You relieved…
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Seddah wrote a discussion post in the Healthy Relationships support group: Was this sexual assault? 11:14am
Here's the story. I was dating this guy for a few months and we'd only had sex once. A while later, I…
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Seddah gave strugglehorse an I'm with you 11:01am
I hope you're doing well. We're all here for you.…
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Journal
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I Didn't Think
November 16, 2009 9:37am
I didn't think that this would be so hard.
On Friday night, I explained to my (soon to be ex) boyfriend about my past experiences with less …
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Fuck This Job
October 26, 2009 10:49am
Fuck. This. Job.
My boss is an idiot. She's a fucking idiot. She doesn't know what the fuck she's doing. She gives …
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The Future Freaks Me Out
October 22, 2009 1:44am
(Good song. I love Motion City Soundtrack.)
Today I spent the whole day reading about Emily Dickinson and her life. I've always …
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I Hate the World Today
October 18, 2009 8:52pm
(Yes, the title's from that song.)
I feel like shit. I hate my coworker, I don't want to be dating my "boyfriend" (and …
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Hugbook
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Thumbs Up
Never stop writing. What a healthy way to clear ones mind and soul.
Well Done
I laughed so hard, game loser
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Ray of Sunshine
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Rainbow
OH EM GEE. LAUGHTOP. bet you can't NOT smile. PS; Game.
Lub Joo 
Hug
No problem. good luck to you.
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Photos
Seddah hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a RelativeIn January my Nono passed away from leukemia. He was only diagnosed two months earlier, so it was really fast and hard to deal with. Then, two weeks ago my Nana passed away. Now my Grandpa is saying things like, "It's my time". He has bowel cancer. My Grandma (his wife) passed away three years ago.
Treatments
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- School's only made things worse because I'm in a very stressful program. Helping my friends with their problems was helping for a while, but it's become overwhelming. They ask for a lot of my time, and as much as I try to always be there for them, I don't leave any time for myself.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- I am never without music. It's the only thing that always helps, even if it doesn't fix it.
- Poetry Somewhat Helpful
- I use writing for everything. So far, it's helped get the feelings out, but it hasn't helped me deal with them.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- Reading is a form of escapism. It doesn't help me deal, it just helps me avoid thinking about everything.
Close Family Issues
I have classic middle-child syndrome. My sister is the oldest and I'm constantly compared to her. She treats me like dirt and is completely condescending. My mom always yells. She's always angry and you never know when or why she'll snap at you. My father is so bad at communication. All he ever tells me is that I'm fat, I don't eat well, and I need to exercise more. My brother is 5 years younger. He used to idolize me and now he looks down on me.
Treatments
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI think I started becoming depressed when I was 13. By 15 I was suicidal and I'd tried to kill myself. At 17 I told my parents. I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. They got me a counsellor, which lasted for 6 months until he said I was fine to continue on my own. I wasn't. At 19 I was suicidal again and put on antidepressants. I stopped taking them five months ago without telling my doctor.
Treatments
Open Diabetes Type 1
Diabetes runs in my family. I've had it since I was 11. I'm the only one in my immediate family with it, but my cousin's also diabetic, and so is my grandpa. My Nono had it, but he passed away from leukemia 8 months ago.
Treatments
Open Healthy Relationships
My friendships are good. My family's a whole other story. The problem I don't have a handle on is my dating relationships. I never date anyone for more than a month. I feel good at the start, but that quickly turns to anxiety. I don't know how to have a real, healthy relationship with someone. One big problem is that I don't think I've ever actually liked someone, let alone loved someone. But I don't think I ever actually liked any of my boyfriends. I date them because I have low self-esteem.
Treatments
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- It helped me end the relationships.
Open College Stress
I'm in the Music Program. It's stressful and scary, but it's usually still fun. But now, they've got a new department head and they're screwing me over. As if I wasn't stressed enough.
Treatments
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- I talk to my friends when I can.
Open Gay & Lesbian Teens
I dunno if I should technically be here as I'm not a teenager anymore, but there didn't seem to be any group for people questioning their sexuality as adults. I guess they all think that the second you turn 20 all the questions go away. If only. I guess the new politically correct term for my situation (or whatever) would be 'bi-curious'. I know I like guys, but I think I might like girls, too. I'm feeling a little confused, lol
Open Coming Out
Well, at school I've been out for a while (as bisexual), but at home only one person knows. My close friends have known for two years, and though it's created some problems with some of them, we've worked through it. People in general took it a lot better than I thought they would.
Open Bisexuality
It's hard to say when I really figured out I was bi, but I came out to my friends about 3 years ago. I came out to my mom (and only my mom -- in terms of family) 2 years ago. I kind of realized it probably about 5 years ago. I guess I'm still a little unsure, but I'm trying to figure it all out.
Open Anxiety
I don't know if I legitimately have a right to be here. I was diagnosed very recently with an anxiety disorder. I'm also depressed, which was what made me get help in the first place. Then the doctor I was seeing told me that she thinks I have an anxiety disorder. At my last appointment, she said that I do have one. I don't know its exact name. I didn't know who to talk to, so I came here.
Open Anemia
Type: Iron Deficiency AnemiaI thought my constant tiredness was related to my depression, until I went to the ER for a panic attack. They did an arterial blood gas and other blood tests, after which they told me I was anemic. I'm on iron pills, but since I started them, I just feel more tired.
Treatments
- Iron Not Working
- So far all it's done is make me more tired and make my stomach hurt like hell.
Open Female Sexual Issues
I've always been really uncomfortable with all things sex-related. It was mostly because my family doesn't talk about anything, so I felt like a freak if I asked questions. I started to loosen up when I made some really great friends in high school. But as a result of my family situation, I didn't start actually masturbating until I started dating my current boyfriend. I also just recently became 'sexually active'.
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Groups
