Journal

Well here I am months later.....April. Last attack Christmas time......then before that was the very first time I had an attack. So have had two outbreaks now. Maybe I won't have any more? Sure hope not.

Things are  much better. I have accepted it. I try not to think about it too often, but it is still there. If I can be of any help to others...I am here....just ask.

Love to all.

Did I really think that this was going to go away if I ignored it? Yep, I thought so. I thought that it was just a fluke.....not me....well second attack started a week and a half ago. Slowly at first, and I thought hmmm....this isn't so bad...I can handle this if this is what it is.....well it was, and it has gotten worse. I thought I could get through this without that medication.....was I wrong....and I am sorry to tell myself that it is as bad as the first outbreak. (well maybe not quite) I thought it was supposed to get better. Maybe it was because I waited to go to the Doctor.....to get the medication....she says if I have constant outbreaks I should go on Valtrex permanently.... I guess I should post on the board....not sure what exactly the Valtrex is supposed to be doing. I went and got Lidocaine (and Valtrex).......and that has helped but it says you can only administer the lidocaine...or rather apply it every 24 hours.......well I need it more than that......

I have to live with this now for the rest of my life. Wow...I wonder if I will be one of the lucky ones that gets a few outbreaks at first, and then hardly at all. I am hoping for that. It really disrupts one's life for sure. I am supposed to go to my Grandson's Christmas concert on Thursday....I just hate myself for getting this. Oh well I will live.....at least I will live....painfully maybe but I will live.....

Okay , time to stop venting....and am wondering if there is anything that can be put up there to relieve the pain? (instead of just putting it on the outside....) Gees what topic.....

Thank heaven for this site and this journal and all the friends on here....

Well the days go by. I do live in fear of this diseasse. But so far nothing has returned., although I just don't feel well over all. I know I need to go to my regular doctor and catch up with everything, but the way I feel at the moment....I don't really want to see another doctor for awhile....

A stupid thought has occurred to me....I am not able to donate blood any more am I? What a stupid thought....and I don't know why that bothers me so much? I have never given  blood before....but what if I had wanted to? Or someone in my family needed it?  Just stupid thoughts really, but as the days pass I have thought of lots of things.......

Just a shosrt entry for today....