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ffwife 
2:06pm, May 26, 2009
As everyone knows things have been looking up and looking wonderful. I have managed to control my pain and been able to get a lot of things done that I didn't before. My youngest graduated high school last Wed and I had to be so proud and sad at the same time.
A couple of days ago hubby started drinking way to much and started yelling at me. He even said I was the rpoblem in why my other marriage failed. Mind you getting beaten with a guitar until I lost a baby and then having my kids beaten was enough for me to run away!! He then told me it was my fault that I was brutally raped and I deserved it. That was a nightmare I try to forget but it is there for the rest of my life. He went to work for two days so I thought it would get better but when he got home at 11:00 am he strated drinking and started to fight again. I would just walk away. He dropped me off at Walmart to get new pans for my stove then tried to run me over with the truck. He snuck over to the other store and bought more vodka I didn't know about and continued to drink. He threatend to kill me then himself. When I said I would have my DA come pick me up and I am leaving he said great he will blow a hole in his head also. He was arrested last night and taken to jail then transported to another jail. He called at 4 am to let me know he was coming home. His friend called me and told me he was getting him but to pack a bag so he can get him out of the house. No such luck, he is down stairs asleep but his friend said after he slept he was leaving for his grandparents for a few days. I am calling a marriage councelor that deals with depression and PTSD which he has and see what can be done. I am a mess and I am so lost!! How can someone who saves lifes try to take the one that should mean more?? I was thrown into another attack last night so thankfully I have a DR apt tmrw!!!
Comments
Oh honey, I am so sorry. You do not need this. Unfortunately, if he is not willing to help himself then there is only so much you can do. Take care of you, not matter what that means or how hard it may be. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Lioness816
Becky I am so sorry to hear this. I was so glad to hear in your last journal how things were looking up for you. You are in my prayers and I hope that you guys can figure something out. WIsh I could be there to help you.
Baby_Blues99
Honey, I am so sorry to hear this is still going on. I know your hubby is in a field where this type of behavior is more common. They have to toughen up and repress their feelings to survive in the field yet no one really tells them how to release the stress from all the bottled up feelings. I hope you are able to find the right help and he is willing to participate, his threats are too risky to let go. Good luck!!
Ladydragonfly
you need to focus on making yourself safe. You are an amazing woman and this breaks my heart... you know my number call anytime
babyduckie
well it's like i said before... you need to get out! find a way to get out. he is a lost cause and you should just forget about the marriage counselor route.
bluesun
I agree with bluesun, you need to get the hell out of that situation. Phone a sibling, a friend.. a shelter for women. Please
vellen
Please be careful, no one has any right to speak to you in that way, as the others have said, getting out seems like tbe best thing to be doing.. Good to see you back here, even if it is in horrible circumstances xx
Clanger