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Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross is a licensed psychotherapist with almost twenty years of clinical experience in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational management. She has worked extensively with a wide variety of…
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What Was Your Education Like and Just How Stressful was it?
Posted in Parenting 'Twee... by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross on Jan 19, 2012
I recently went to a lecture by a renowned educator and author Alfie Kohn, who talks to groups of parents and educators about the perils of our education system. He queried the audience for one-word answers to the question of what we want for our children. The answers came flying out of the crowd with things such as; self-reliance, security, confidence, general happiness, a love of learning. Once he had written down all of our lofty goals for our children, he posed the question, “Are our educational practices at odds with our long term goals for our children?”
He began to articulate his philosophy, which, in some circles, might be considered radical. He made a very passionate argument against homework and testing in the educational system, and in fact rejects pretty much any type of system based on rewards. Many of the studies he referred to exemplified the deleterious effects of praise and grades in school. Mr. Kohn concluded that these external measurements stifle and even kill children’s internal motivations. The message was clear that the intellectual cost of academic achievement is very high.
The location of this talk was a progressive elementary and middle school; so the audience that attended was, in large part, like-minded. My beliefs resonate with much of what Mr. Kohn spoke about that evening, but as with so many things, I am a moderate. I am certain we can do a better job of educating our children in a way that encourages independence and a desire to learn instead of simply a desire to get a good grade or garner praise from parents. When the line between praise and love begins to blur, we have already begun to sever those crucial parent-child bonds.
What I am not clear about is whether or not the pendulum needs to swing so radically in the other direction. Admittedly, I am a therapist and not someone designing basic curriculum for elementary or middle school kids, so I don’t purport to be an expert in this arena. I am a parent though, and like all parents, I want my children to be happy in the many years that they spend at academic institutions, but I also want them to be well prepared for the world they will face when they are no longer in the safe haven of academia. Our current economy doesn’t really support many of these ideals. Judgments and rewards are still the tools used in the world of employment.
We need to do something about the intense workload carried by our teenagers; the stress and depression that plagues our youth, which is beautifully exemplified in the documentary film Race to Nowhere. There have been some brave educators out there; who have boldly pursued progressive education curriculum in an effort to combat the ills of the less child-centered methods of the past, but clearly we have a long way to go and there are many different elements that need to be considered as we move forward.
What was your education like? How would you have liked it to be different and how much of it defines the person you are today?
- Cyndi
He began to articulate his philosophy, which, in some circles, might be considered radical. He made a very passionate argument against homework and testing in the educational system, and in fact rejects pretty much any type of system based on rewards. Many of the studies he referred to exemplified the deleterious effects of praise and grades in school. Mr. Kohn concluded that these external measurements stifle and even kill children’s internal motivations. The message was clear that the intellectual cost of academic achievement is very high.
The location of this talk was a progressive elementary and middle school; so the audience that attended was, in large part, like-minded. My beliefs resonate with much of what Mr. Kohn spoke about that evening, but as with so many things, I am a moderate. I am certain we can do a better job of educating our children in a way that encourages independence and a desire to learn instead of simply a desire to get a good grade or garner praise from parents. When the line between praise and love begins to blur, we have already begun to sever those crucial parent-child bonds.
What I am not clear about is whether or not the pendulum needs to swing so radically in the other direction. Admittedly, I am a therapist and not someone designing basic curriculum for elementary or middle school kids, so I don’t purport to be an expert in this arena. I am a parent though, and like all parents, I want my children to be happy in the many years that they spend at academic institutions, but I also want them to be well prepared for the world they will face when they are no longer in the safe haven of academia. Our current economy doesn’t really support many of these ideals. Judgments and rewards are still the tools used in the world of employment.
We need to do something about the intense workload carried by our teenagers; the stress and depression that plagues our youth, which is beautifully exemplified in the documentary film Race to Nowhere. There have been some brave educators out there; who have boldly pursued progressive education curriculum in an effort to combat the ills of the less child-centered methods of the past, but clearly we have a long way to go and there are many different elements that need to be considered as we move forward.
What was your education like? How would you have liked it to be different and how much of it defines the person you are today?
- Cyndi
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When I was 15, I refused to memorize information for school. I studied to understand, and the important facts were part of the understanding. I recognized early, that classmates who only memorized were hardly able to have a meaningful conversation about the subject matter.
It was only after I earned a doctorate in psychology/education, began to teach college, and put my homespun philosophy of learning into practice that I arrived independently at what Kohn is pointing to.
Empowering students for intrinsics rather than extrinsics works, and is what real educators know and do. Students can tell when their teachers are just going through the motions, doing their job instead of teaching.
Bravo Alfie Kohn!!!!
Then when some of us who were bored by the repetitions started to think of ways to entertain ourselves, we got in trouble. It didn't pay to be smart; the slow ones got far more attention
In university, education was fu because the dummies who required repetition had been weeded out, and we could move right along. This was GREAT!
My parents told me and my brothers that if we were not mentally challenged there was no reason to be the best, we all gratuated from high school at 15,I came to the USA and finished college in 3.
I asked the same from my children and they from theirs
My children have a well rounded education, multilinguals,well traveled and the most important they are good decent people.
I continue to educate myself even that I have advanced studies. I was not stressed at all.
This fact, feeds my "Drive". I am in my second trade, (Yes, I completed the first) One may say, I'm getting my doctorate in construction.
I feel, my parents put my entire childhood to work. This may not be such a bad thing. I have a "healthy" inner child, and try to make every situation suit me, without harming others. This is never possible! As there are "malcontents" EVERYWHERE! I have found, these "malcontents", are the ones who were popular in school, and always "Won" at the expense of people like me.
Now that I am successful, I find "Malcontents" trying to step on me, to get ahead. (much like highschool) These people do not have the intelligence to be in the high paying positions they desire. They are stuck chasing unattainable dreams. Yet another source of comedy to me.
Call me sadistic, but I have no sympathy for such treachery!
At the jobs that I have had, I could not fail. I worked as a teller at one job, I could not lose the deposit, I could not put it in somebody's elses account, I had to put the exact amount in Their account. I had to give the exact change back & receive the exact change from the customer. Bottomline, I could not fail at my job BUT yet teachers are allowed to fail AT WHAT THEY DO!!
It's taken me 30 yrs to figure out that becuz of the dysfunctional parents that I had, that made it hard for me to concentrate in school AND learn. I thought all of those yrs that I was just a dumb kid. ALL of the teachers in my school days lacked patience. They wanted ALL of the students to be smart and to NOT have to spend XTRA time with a student.
I started off in a very bad situation. My dad didn't want me to be left-handed so being forced to use my right hand was the beginning of a bad relationship W/THE TEACHER.
I started off in a very bad situation. My dad didn't want me to be left-handed so being forced to use my right hand was the beginning of a bad relationship W/THE TEACHER.
There are different ways of learning; some students need "drill and kill", others need to self explore. Some need to be able to visualize, others need physical things they can manipulate. Again I would love to see different groups based on different learning methods.