"My ex-husband (whom I have been divorced from for 26 yrs) has just informed me that he is buying a house with his second ex-wife. So they will be moving in together. They have been divorced for about 8 yrs and have been dating about a year. I find this upsetting because they go to church weekly and I believe living together outside of marriage is wrong. How can I accept the fact that they will be living together this way? How can I express my feelings to him that I think he is making a big mistake?"
You were not explicit about the nature of your current relationship with your ex-husband of 26 years but what does seem clear is that this is no longer your concern. Since you have been apart for so long I am assuming you do not have small children with this man and therefore what he chooses to do, or not do, is out of your jurisdiction.
If you two are very close friends you can express your concerns and enter into an open conversation about the subject of cohabitating before marriage, but to have the expectation that he is going to alter his life based on your opinion is probably unrealistic. You can express your feelings honestly but without judgment and then accept his decision whether you approve of it or not. People can maintain a strong bond even when they agree to disagree.
I don’t know how your specific church views divorce, let alone cohabitation, but this is your ex-husbands third marriage so I am guessing he is not that concerned with adhering to all the mandates of his particular church (unless of course divorce is sanctioned but cohabitation is frowned upon). In terms of your acceptance I would suggest that you focus your energy on living a life that is true to your value system and be accepting that others should do the same.
Related Support Groups on DailyStrength: