Marriage and Family Therapist
Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross is a licensed psychotherapist with almost twenty years of clinical experience in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational management. She has worked extensively with a wide variety of…
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Some Men Like to Cuddle Over Having Sex, Says Study on Sexual Satisfaction
Posted in Healthy Sex by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross on Jul 21, 2011
The stereotype that men are only after sex and women want to be cuddled is really just the stuff of sitcoms and caricatures. Men are fueled by testosterone in a way that women are not, but that doesn’t negate all other brain functioning – despite what you see in the media. Woman, on the other hand, tend to be more verbal and emotionally effusive then men but that doesn’t mean they are disinterested in sex.

As a couple’s therapist I see men and women everyday who defy all the stereotypes and so this is not new information. But now a study by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, has been released which presents the clear facts.

Researchers interviewed couples in various countries throughout the world who had been together at least 1 year but averaged 25 years. The study looked specifically at middle aged and older men and women who have been in committed relationship, long-term.

Couples who were more physically demonstrative reported being more satisfied with their sex-life overall. Men reported wanting to be hugged and caressed at times even over and above engaging in actual sexual interactions. This bit of information of course made the evening news!

It was also revealed that women became more sexually satisfied the longer they were together with their partner. This information is in keeping with earlier studies that demonstrated how women allow themselves to be more vulnerable the longer they are in a relationship, and this vulnerability can lead to more sexual satisfaction.

This is just another study that debunks the myth that time kills the romance. The reality is that in a healthy relationship time actually feeds the passion and couples can actually increase the frequency and creativity of their sexual intimacy.

The first step to improving a couple’s sex life is to open up lines of communication. Ask your partner what he or she likes and specifically how they like to be touched. Don’t assume that because you have been together for years there is nothing new to learn. Not only are many people slow to learn about their own sexual needs but desires can change over the years. Hormones and other physical and emotional changes can have an influence on sexual preferences. So open up the conversation, you might be surprised, intrigued and even turned on by what you discover.

- Cyndi


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Oh, you got that right.

I sit in a classroom full of women. The course is 99% women and they act like they have virgin ears, these are women from 30 yo +. They have to spell certain words instead of saying the word.

They hardly speak any way you look at it, no matter what subject.

"some studies that show, statistically"
TheVocaGuy, (I'm single, no kids) I guess the "study" must be talkin about the SINGLE/singular women, The women w/kids would rather sleep, so THEY say. They admit this on shows, like, Dr. Oz.
By energylost  Jul 28, 2011
10
I've actually read up on some studies that show, statistically, women are truly more interested in sex than men. Its just that a women knows they have a double edge sword in front of them. If they don't have sex, they're a prude, and if they DO have sex, they're a slut... Though sex doesn't make a women a slut, most people look at it that way, so a women can't openly talk about sex like a man can, without being looked at like a whore, when a guy can have as much sex as he wants and people look up to him for it. It's hypocritical, but that's just how it goes. So women actually want sex MORE than men, they just can't TALK about like we can.
By TheVocaGuy  Jul 28, 2011
9
Don't get me wrong. I'm still a guy, and love sex... But I also have many times where I feel like I'd rather cuddle than have sex. But my desire to cuddle turns my girlfriend on, so it usually leads to sex anyways... but its never MY intention. All of you who say these studies are completely off base, are just full of the crap that the media has shoved down your throat. I've never cheated, I'm not just out for sex, I do like romance in my relationship, and I treat my girlfriend with respect. I defy all things typical in men, besides sharing the muscles, facial hair, testosterone, and penis. That's about the only similarities between myself and the "typical" guy that the media has invented. Out of well over 20+ relationships, my current girlfriend is the ONLY one to NOT cheat on ME. I think women are just as bad if not worse than the typical male.
By TheVocaGuy  Jul 28, 2011
8
JUST MAYBE they can cuddle AFTER s e x
By energylost  Jul 27, 2011
7
THE EX couldn't cuddle if it didn't lead to s e x
By energylost  Jul 27, 2011
6
my ex only INITIATED cuddle to lead to S E X
By energylost  Jul 27, 2011
5
MEN only want to cuddle becuz it leadZ to -- S E X.
By energylost  Jul 27, 2011
4
This must be a study done on a different PLANET!! AHAHAHA
By energylost  Jul 27, 2011
3
It depends, i love cuddling and yes there are times i just want that but i love sex too, men and women aren't that different, sure some men are more "typical" but people need to stop looking for whats typical if thats not what they want.
By jackguy01  Jul 25, 2011
2
My husband is the opposite. If we do cuddle it always must lead to sex so I've stopped cuddling. Let me add that he is an alcoholic and depressed and I have no desire to be with him. Once the subject of sex comes up (always from him) and I say no, his mood gets so different. He's angry, turns away emotionally and it just goes on and on. I'm at the point of sleeping alone and we have no relationship left. If we would have sex everday he'd be a happy camper, but I'm not going to do what I don't feel like doing just to please him and keep him happy. It's like a tug of war and now he won't even do any repairs or help me around the house. If I gave in, he would. Not going to happen.
By lanie516  Jul 24, 2011
1
Wow! I've been hearing for years that all guys want is sex, but I found it hard to believe that they wanted it all the time, but if you date someone who is a sex addict, this is true. I "spent some time" with a guy that only thought of sex and spoke of sex, it was hard to talk about anything else with him.
By StephP  Jul 22, 2011
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