Divorce is never a happy thing and certainly in my business it is not the intended goal. But the reality is that sometimes differences are truly irreconcilable and people who have once chosen to be joined in matrimony make the decision to call it quits.
It was once thought that divorce in general was harder on women because of the financial ramifications, but as gender roles are changing so too is that notion.
A study in the journal Economica
that was done by researchers at London’s Kingston University has given us a new look at the question of who fares better in a marital split. It turns out that women appear to be more content in 5 years post-divorce than at any other time in their lives.
The study took place over 2 decades and followed 10,000 people in the UK ranging from age 16 to age 60. They wanted to measure happiness levels following major life events.
Both men and women reported being happier just after a divorce but the increase for men was only slight while women had a large jump in their level of happiness.
A previous study done by the conservative Institute for American Values showed very different results. This group reported that unhappily married adults remained unhappy even after they divorced. Something seems amiss with that report in my estimation. Those results sound suspiciously like a means to encourage people to stay married at all costs because of conservative ideology.
I have always said that people get married too easily and too often and get divorced too easily and too often. No one should take either of those life steps lightly. It may be that women feel more trapped when they are in an unhappy marriage because of finances or societal pressure and when they divorce they experience a liberation of sorts. Men too often feel liberated once they are out of an unfulfilling relationship but clearly the variables are different and this recent study may offer some insight into this issue.
It is truly my hope that any married couple that is struggling to remain united would seek counseling before making the decision to split. The process of couples therapy doesn’t always result in a happy union, but more often than not it gives couples the tools they need to facilitate better communication and greater intimacy. In the end, should the couple choose to divorce, they can do so with the knowledge that they gave the relationship an honest chance to survive and they are likely to have fewer regrets when they look back.
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