Discussion Topic
Lost in Lust
Posted on 08/19/09, 08:13 am
I scribbled this out after a dream last winter and just found it on a post-it... curious to see what others HONESTLY think! Thanks all :)
Lost In Lust
I hate your charm
your flirting, your winks
I hate your style
from damsel to kinks
I hate your ego, your buried sin
I hate the AP classes you're in
I hate your scores, your clubs, your college
I hate the way you boast your knowledge
But everything changes when you're around
I lose my touch, I float off the ground
I notice your eyes, your scent, your lips
The confident sizzle to your quips
But your words are too eloquent
Your hair is too coiffed
Your body too perfect
Your skin too soft
What I hate the most
Is sad but true:
I hate myself
For wanting you
Lost In Lust
I hate your charm
your flirting, your winks
I hate your style
from damsel to kinks
I hate your ego, your buried sin
I hate the AP classes you're in
I hate your scores, your clubs, your college
I hate the way you boast your knowledge
But everything changes when you're around
I lose my touch, I float off the ground
I notice your eyes, your scent, your lips
The confident sizzle to your quips
But your words are too eloquent
Your hair is too coiffed
Your body too perfect
Your skin too soft
What I hate the most
Is sad but true:
I hate myself
For wanting you
-
Reply #1 08/21/09 4:13am
Oooooo! This is a gem! That's what I think, loved every word. -
Reply #2 08/21/09 8:33am
That ending gave me chills!! Love it!!! -
Reply #3 08/21/09 7:00pm
Wow...just...wow...excellent work! I loved the twist at the end...I am always a fan of having twists at the end of poetry. -
Reply #4 09/05/09 7:20am
Just had to revisit this. I'm loving how you put it together. :) -
Reply #5 09/07/09 10:28pm
awwww thank you guys so much!!! I'm always unsure about my writing because my sister is an amazing writer and holds that position in my family :P Well I greatly appreciate the compliments! :)
FS -
Reply #6 10/07/09 2:03pm
Wow.... that was amazing.... I love the whole turn around of feelings.... tell your sister she's in second place now...
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