sam23

Bottle or Breast: Do women really have a choice?

Posted on 11/14/08, 08:41 pm

A friend of mine is due in December and has chosen not to breastfeed. This wasnt shocking to me, because she had problems breasfeeding her first child, & quite frankly most of the people I know who have children have used formula & bottles. The reason I'm bringing this up is because my friend was made to feel pretty awful by a few people, including physicians, because of her choice. While most people know the benefits of breastfeeding, isnt it really a woman's choice to decide what is best for her family? It seems that there are many strong opinions out there about this subject and I dont think any side of the argument is wrong or right. However, at the end of the day, breastfeeding isnt always as easy as it looks on TV, so maybe it isnt the BEST choice for every woman. I guess I'm just shocked, as is my friend, that anyone would make her feel bad because of her decision. My question to all of you is,Do you think that doctor's encouraging moms to exclusively breasfeed isnt really fair to women who have difficuties? And do you think that equal information on both bottle and breastfeeding should be available, rather than one over the other? I just think being a mom to a tiny enfant has got to be difficult enough without the pressure of how you are going to feed that child.

• Reply #1 11/15/08  12:18pm
  
  LynneC
  I agree that it is up to the woman. Esp. if she has tried it before, and it did not work out well. I am sure that there are any number of instances where formula is the best option, such as a mother who needs to be on meds, and the medication would infect her milk. I think the current trend is to push breast feeding, as it DOES have a number of benefits for the baby. However, I think a Dr, in particular, should understand that there ARE other options.
• Reply #2 11/16/08  9:57pm
  
  justmarried07
  I am also due in December, and just went to a breastfeeding class last week. Less than 1% of women can't breastfeed, the ones that don't, choose not to, or aren't patient enough for it--that's what the research shows.
  
  So, I think that's why women are pressured to breastfeed--it's seen as lazy or selfish not to. It goes beyond what is best for the mother---it should be what's best for the baby. Yes, it sucks sometimes, yes it's hard, yes it's frustrating, but there are mounds and mounds of research that shows that no formula can hold a candle to breastmilk.
  
  Breastmilk is amazing stuff! It changes from day to day, based on what the baby needs. It lowers the risk of cancer (actually, one study shows that cancer cells comit suicide when placed in breastmilk!), heart disease, amongst thousands of other things. It literally provides everything a baby needs. Formula allows the baby to absorb less than 4% of the iron he/she needs (yes, this is the Iron fortified stuff).
  
  I get a little annoyed at people who don't even try to breastfeed, b/c they "don't want to." If someone doesn't want to start thier child off with the very best chance at good health, I'm not sure they are ready for a child.
  
  Now, with all of this said, I will know in less than a month just how hard it is, but I will give it my very best. Each baby is different--your friend's second child may latch on within minutes and breast feed very easily, but she won't know if she doesn't try...
  
  Sorry if this is judgemental---I'm sure it is, but I do feel strongly about it.
• Reply #3 11/17/08  9:29am
  
  humanrhapsody
  It is a bi*ch. You bleed and blister, but it's worth it. Formula was instated because it was seen as indecent to breastfeed. That being said, the formula itself is anti-woman. It was used because women are made to feel that their bodies and the miraculous things they do are somehow shameful. If someone doesn't want to breastfeed, that's fine with me since it is their choice, but I don't like it when they label it as "I can't, my breasts are too small, my supply never came in, etc." If you don't want to, say you don't want to. You shouldn't feel so ashamed of your decision, that you make excuses.
• Reply #4 11/17/08  12:31pm
  
  justmarried07
  human, I agree. I guess that was kind of my point, although you were a bit more tactful. LOL I think that's why people have issues with it, b/c women claim they "can't" when they just don't want to. Although, they know that if they say they just don't want to----they will be looked down upon. My question to all of you is, should they be looked down upon? Isn't it kind of selfish to say "I just don't feel like it", when it's obvious that that is the best thing for the child??
• Reply #5 11/17/08  5:44pm
  
  kbdid
  Breastfeeding is always worth a shot, but if a woman has difficulties she shouldn't be forced to continue. Personally, in the long run it was much better for me, aside from the benefits to my sons - no bottles to wash/sterilize, lost weight quicker, post-pregnant boobs didn't deflate as quickly as they could have and less expensive etc. Most people I know have at least tried it, some continued for months/years, some for weeks, depending on success with it, back to work schedules etc.
  
  I don't think any woman should be made to feel bad - they should be presented with all the information and the doctors should respect her choice.
• Reply #6 11/17/08  11:59pm
  
  sparklyangst
  i agree with a lot of the sentiments already stated. breastfeeding is ultimately best for the baby. however if the mother needs certain medications or her milk doesn't come in enough, or other physiological reasons, formula isn't a bad option. women have these choices and shouldnt' be condemned for the choice to not breastfeed. it is ultimately very personal. if i were to have another child, i wouldn't breastfeed. for me this would be because i've got medications i need every day.
  
  breastfeeding my daughter was wonderful for me, but my milk came in not five days after she was born but 12. i had to supplement over half the time the first few weeks. after that it wasn't always easy but it had numerous benefits.
• Reply #7 11/18/08  10:05am
  
  sam23
  I definitely think breastmilk is best, and like kbdid said, "its always worth a shot." However, there are situations where its very difficult or impossible for a woman to breastfeed and I think doctors need to be more understanding about this. I'm not saying women shouldnt be told the benefits of breastfeeding, but I just think for women who have problems because of low milk supply, medications (both of which effected my friend)or for other personal reasons, doctors need to be kind and supportive, not judgemental or mean. All I'm saying is that I feel women should be told about all of their options and allowed to make choices that are best for them and their family. Doctors take an oath saying first do no harm. I think that pressuring a mom who is already feeling badly for not being able to feed her child the way that is best, is doing more harm to her then good.
• Reply #8 12/11/08  12:31am
  
  GeorgiaW
  I know there may be some reasons why breast feeding is difficult for a few women but before giving up and heading for the formula I'd like to recommend that they try using a very good breast pump first so that even though they may be using a bottle to feed they will be giving their infant the best food available.
  When my first child was born I had to battle the other end of this trend, that is everyone was bottle/formula happy in those days and I got a great deal of resistance from friends and family, thank god my doctor was supportive but I'd have done it anyway.
  
• Reply #9 12/18/08  7:53am
  
  Miracle1983
  I struggled with breastfeeding the first week and was so close to giving up because I had NO support network and no one telling how to get my son to latch properly, the nurses in the hospital were clueless, I just felt all alone.
  
  Luckily, a friend of mine who also happened to be an IBCLC, came to my house and encouraged me and told me to hang on cause it is all worth it in the end.
  
  Well, I laugh now looking back at that first week! My son is almost ten months and I am nursing STILL! I will nurse until he decides to wean himself, which I am thinking will probably be around a year and a half or so.
  
  My journey of breastfeeding has been so awesome! I have loved the closeness and the comfort I have provided my baby, as well as the nutrition. My son is so healthy, he has never had an ear infection, he has no allergies, and he has no skin rashes or anything.
  
  I definitely think breast is best and I think some reasons that breastfeeding is not the #1 choice in the U.S. is lack of knowledge, lack of any type of support, and just not making it a priority. I also think that a lot of women have to go back to work after a few weeks, making breastfeeding somewhat difficult to continue and kind of a hassle, so they quit.
  
  I also think that a lot of women freak out the first week of the baby's life and give up quickly because their milk doesn't come in right away and they think the baby is "starving." My milk did not come in until the fifth day after my son was born, and he was just fine. He lost a little bit of weight, but he had gained all of it back, plus an additional 11 ounces by his two week check up.
  
  Justmarried is right, they have done multiple studies showing how many women are truly, physically unable to breastfeed, and the numbers are extremely low. It really is a choice.
• Reply #10 04/07/09  3:18pm
  
  seaturtle2009
  I think that women do have a choice. Whatever fits her lifestyle. From the reasearch I have done and I have done reasearch yes breastfeeding does have alot of benifets but I dont think its right for everybody. If I was an OBGYN I would talk about both and let her see which one she thinks would be better for her.

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