Hey everybody,

Im very desparate. I think u all should know how much i like sex but its been SOOOOO long. Its my fault. Im on so many anti depessants, under ALOT of stress & peri-MENopausal. Its prolly been close to a yr sense we've had good sex to where i orgasm. I try for hubby but i just CANT!!!! I dont know if its meds, stress or the peri. Also, i cant even get there by mastubating.

Friday night, hubby wanted it. I TRIED. Couldnt!! I didnt even want him touching me. It didnt feel good or right. I love him so much, so what the fuck is wrong w me?????

Most fo the oldies here know my probs from the past couple yrs. Prob teenager, $$$ probs, severe depression & hosp stays, (me depression & hubby heart probs) & all around life stresses. I want that *spark* back in the marriage.

HOW do i get that spark back to where it use to be??? Sense its been so long i know we should start from the beginning again but that was awkward. How do we start again???

Nov 15th is my 17 yr anniv. Im gonna try to get someone to take the girls for even just a night. Maybe me & hubby going up to Big Bear to the other house. Nice dinner, US time, even a lil romance would be nice if i could get hubby to try something. He's not romantic at all.

PLEASE HELP ME. At times i feel like we will separate & divorce. I DONT WANT THAT. I dont wanna end up in the hosp again & i feel like i may if things dont get better.

Any ideas, suggestions, comments, opinions etc would be much appreciated.

I love ya all
Cathy