Discussion Topic

Husband looks at porn and naked girls and I feel worthless

Posted on 02/21/11, 05:43 am
I've been with my husband for 7 years and married for 2 and recently it's become more apparent that he's been looking at porn on the computer and on his phone. I've blocked our computer now but he still views it on his phone. Everytime he's done something i always seem to find out and he knows this - something in me tells me to look in certain places and the other day I found that he'd been looking at naked pictures of girls on his phone with his work colleague whom I thought wasn't like that. It makes me feel sick, worthless, insecure and I hate myself and my body. I already have problems which have stunted certain development of upper body and all over his phone was 'big t**ts' pictures that him and 'his mate' had been viewing. Ive spent all weekend crying and cannot get it out of my head. I hate porn and I hate him for doing it and I don't know what to do. I've never felt good enough in the upper body department and he's made me feel worse now. I look after myself and everyone says i'm pretty but I hate my figure. i even joined weight watchers to make myself feel more confident but its not worked. I told him I would consider a boob job if looking at big t**ts was important to him. Help!!! What do I do? How do I stop feeling this way???
Showing 5 Replies
  • Reply #1 02/24/11  8:46am
    Thanks for joining my group. I am so sorry that this is happening to you. One thing I've learned from forming this group and reading the different posts that women have written is that half the time, the types of porn men look at on the Internet is not what they really want in real life! They're escaping to their little fantasy land. Not to mention that the Internet keeps taking it up a notch each time. They get jaded from looking at "normal" stuff and they have to look at more intense things to get them excited. I love my husband and most men, but they are stupid, simple creatures at times. (Most times)

    No one can make you feel secure--not even your husband--and actually he can't make you feel INsecure either. You are bashing yourself because your husband has a nasty habit! You HAVE to realize that that makes NO sense. If your husband smoked or ate too much or procrastinated a lot at work, those habits would have no reflection on YOU and who you are as a person. One of the things my husband likes to look at on the Internet is these girls with big butts and mine is pretty small for a Black woman! It's no reflection on you! We can't compare to what these porn ho's do and we shouldn't want to. Believe me, if you think YOUR self esteem is low, you should talk to these women who debase themselves so our husbands can have something to jack off to! It's ridiculous! Stop bashing yourself because your husband has a stupid, disgusting habit. Also, delete all the pictures off his phone every time. Take some control and confront him every single time. Let him know that you find HIM and HIS behavior disgusting and let HIM take on some of YOUR insecurity. I'm sure he's not the stud of the block! I will pray for you and I hope you listen to what I'm saying. You deserve to be happy. Don't let ANYONE take that away from you!
  • Reply #2 02/28/11  11:45am
    Thank you for replying... it feels comforting knowing that there are others out there who see the issue the same as me. I'm so sick of people telling me 'its normal' when it really isnt. We have spoken many times and he knows that its not right but he's got himself in a bit deep and its like a drug, once ur hooked hard to get out of. I'm sure its just a phase - well at least hope that anyway. i'll never know what he gets up to at work but can only go on what he tells me - hes aware its a massive problem and has seemingly taken it on board after the many arguments, tears and show downs we've had over it. He doesnt wanna upset me or hurt me but I guess when he's with the 'lads' at work, its hard to say no. I have taken on what you have said to me, thank you and will try to not let it affect me like it has. Its just so hard to forget about it when you become aware of it u know..... x
  • Reply #3 03/08/11  7:53pm
    Don't be sad scart, In the end you and your husband will still be together when both grows old. just do your part as a wife. Believe in the power of prayers.
  • Reply #4 04/09/11  11:39am
    Scart: you and me both. I wish I had known years ago about this site and the help out there. Just someone to talk to who doesnt say: break his computer, leave him, throw things.
    Those things arent me and arent how I would l=solve the problem....its good to know I am not alone

    I have been considering joining a weekly group in my area but am teriffied and dont know how to begin...its close and I have the lady's number....do I do it? Have you tried it?
  • Reply #5 07/10/14  5:18pm
    i am a good christian women with faults of her own , but for years i have begged my husband no porn , he says he will stop , never every little bit he is back at it ,i am a stay at home home and know where to go if it comes to that,my heart hurts so much i want to scream out of my body !1so many talks so many broken promises,25 yrs alone!! sad part he is the more boring lover always has been , try to get him into anything new is oh well my knee hurts or something, but its me always me , just alone thank you bd barton for making me feel worthless.just cry cry and cry, cant join in town group to small of area it would be bad for both of us even if just i wanted to go, thank you for letting me vent and sad to say not alone in this

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