Discussion Topic

Husbands with female partners on the job

Posted on 10/22/12, 12:47 am
There is a girl on my husband's squad that is known for being "loose" to say the least, she even had sex with my friends husband causing them to get divorced. I don't think my husband would cheat on me, but we have some trust issues, he lies about stuff some white lies which of course makes me think if he'll lie about something small he'll lie about something bigger. Anyway, this girl is the chief of police's daughter and in his department they switch partners every night, and on his first tour of duty on nights she's been with him twice out of four days, when there are literally 110 officers on this same shift. Am I crazy to think she's asking daddy to put her with him? What are the chances they got put together twice on his first night tour!?! Furthermore, she obviously has no problem hooking up with or trying to hook up with a married man or fellow officer...how do I deal this? I don't think he would do something but I know if she tried something on him he wouldn't tell me because he knows I would be pissed off. I have no choice in the matter obviously because he can't ask to not be put with her especially because she's the chiefs daughter ( and he wouldn't do that anyway) but I'm having trouble with it... Have you all had a problem like this before and what did you do to help yourself feel better about it?
Showing 6 Replies
  • Reply #1 10/22/12  5:46pm
    I've always trusted my husband as well. I knew I never had to worry about him having an affair, it was the ONE thing I could believe 100% to never happen. Well, to my complete & utter disbelieve he had a 2 mo affair with the one female on his squad (while I was 7 mo pregnant). We are trying to rebuild our marriage & it's the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. Anyway, back to your question. The only thing I can suggest is that you meet her. A work gathering, invite her to your next party? Maybe if she gets to know you (and vice versa) she may gain some respect for you or even like you enough to leave your hubby alone.

    In my case my Husband worked with this wh*re for two years & I never met her. Intentional? I'll never know. In your case it will be difficult because of her status.
  • Reply #2 10/22/12  5:53pm
    Red flags to watch out for: always has his phone on him (never left unattended), texting all the time, hanging with the guys, coming home late

    If you have access to his phone/email records don't be shy to look. Best policy is to let him know or look with him. If that isn't possible, do what you have to do, if you think he has something to hind don't tip him off.

    I stayed up late waiting for him one night he was out with the guys.. I asked to see his phone. That is when my world shattered into a million peices. I hope you are worrying over nothing.

  • Reply #3 10/23/12  2:06am
    Thank you so much for responding, they are supposed to have different partners every night during the 4 day tour and this is the THIRD night she has been with him... i have a feeling someone went to daddy ( the chief of police ) and pulled some strings.... it's killing me!! I already stalk his phone nothing yet, her number isn't even stored yet ( unless its under a different name?) and they aren't friends on Facebook yet but I've looked at her page and I have to admit she isn't hideous which sucks even more.... it's just so frustrating because I know there is nothing I can do.... i've been trying not to nag him too much about it because I know it's not his choice or his fault he's with her but I'm sooooo frustrated and i literally can't sleep ( I'm pregnant too so being uncomfortable doesn't help either) but its still so annoying.
  • Reply #4 10/23/12  2:22am
    Helm, I'm so sorry you are going through this, specially while pregnant. I chalked up my crazy thoughts about my husband's actions to pregnant hormones. Go with your gut.

    I wish I had more to offer you. I tend to overreact myself but often can give more sound advice, can't we all though right? Be open with your husband about your feelings. Can you ask him why he has been with her 3 nights in a row? If he doesn't know see if he can ask his Sargent.

    I would still try to meet her in person, kill her with kindness.
  • Reply #5 11/04/12  8:13am
    I would be over protective of the guy. Like when be has free time just do more stuff with him. So he can see that you love him and he won't pay attention to that female cop. It is really a bas thing that they pit them together if there is like a hundred other cops.

    Can you help me with a group I just started. I'm new here.

    Thank you

    Link:
    http://www.dailystrength.org/groups...

  • Reply #6 11/04/12  8:14am
    Sorry for the typos. I'm using my phone to type.

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