My daughter-in-law's brother committed suicide about 6 weeks ago. This has caused so much pain in her family, including pain to my grandchildren. I'm not sure if anyone could have prevented it, either. But I spent the first few weeks being very angry at him for being so selfish! Now that has mellowed to a kind of sadness/acceptance. But I know that I need to be strong and loving for my grandchildren and the rest of the family.
Thanks for posting the link. I hope that it helps someone in pain.
Hugs, Sue
Discussion Topic
Showing 5 Replies
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Reply #1 10/06/09 12:39am
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Reply #2 10/08/09 6:45pm
I just recently tried to commit suicide in the beginning part of september because I had just found out that I was or am HIV positive and I didnt and dont feel like my life is worth living and I truly, on a daily basis, tell myself that I just want to die. I just want to die to start over but seeing how my attempt made the people I love hurt so much eventhough I was still around made me realize that maybe I was being selfish but how do you shake the feeling? How do you get to a place to where you are just living because you dont want to make others sad? what about you? you are the one living with the excrutiating pain day in, and day out? how do you fix that?
Thats a question I would really love for someone to help me with.
Thank you for your time.
Jimmy -
Reply #3 10/24/09 7:25am
Hi Jimmy! Life is a precious gift given to us by God. God has a plan for all of us. There might be trials and tribulations in the world but through it all God will stand by us. HIV , does not make you a different person , it is a virus in you. Time is great healer, do not be hard on yourself. Take baby step on living with the virus, you can stil live a happy normal life with the virus. I believe HIV is just like an other chronic conditon, e.g diabetes , lymhedema etc.
Do not despair. You can live a normal life, eat healthy, fall in love etc. Try to talk to a counsellor too . Read alot of insipiring books to keep a positive outloook on life.
It might even be better if you perhaps join a group on DS with people that are living with virus if there is any. It helps to hear from people that are going through the same . I have lympedema( swelling of the feet and legs), the doctor told me my lymp system did not develop properly at birth. My feet and legs are swollen and that comes with a pain, but i believe lymphedema does not define who i am. I joined a group here on DS whereby we share our experiences. My lymphedema is also chronic but i keep a positive outlook on life.
Good luck, you will be fine, do not be hard on yourself. -
Reply #4 10/27/09 5:46pm
Hi Jimmy
Yes suicide is very hard for those left behind and in your case your attempt at suicide failed, bit that is still very hard for the people who love you.
There are many people living satisfying lives who are HIV positive, maybe it would be helpful if you met and talked to them.
I dont want to tell you that you must be happy, because that would be silly of me. Because I think your life is worthwhile doesnt mean that you think it is.
Dont make any hurried decisions, just wait a while and see if you can adjust to this new facet of your life. It is entirely your choice whether to end your life, but it does require some serious thought. Maybe some therapy and some time you may change your perspective. I wish you well
Hugsssssssssss Deb -
Reply #5 11/25/09 4:59am
A wise man said to me once when I expressed those feelings" you don't want to die, you just want the pain to stop." I believe that's true because of course if I had been happy I wouldn't have been wanting to escape my life. It's hard to explain what's kept me alive all these years except the burning curiosity to see what happens next. At my worst I found the thought of suicide didn't even scare me it seemed like a fun little daytrip. But even then there a was a part of me that couldn't help but notice the beautifull way the sunlight streamed across the floor. I can only describe the experience as divine, not necessarily spiritual or whatnot just a whoa moment. It seems like there's always something to be grateful for, even prisoners of war who experienced terrible torture, isolation, and starvation found the will to keep hoping from such experiences. I'm glad you care about the people close to you, but theres someone even closer who needs you.
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