Darkhole23

Can't let go of the past,so i lost who i am now.

Posted on 09/07/09, 04:40 pm

I’m a 23 yr old guy living and working for the military in Virginia. Since 2003 when my father past away from lung cancer. I have been going through life with no since of direction and sort of a depression because my father was a great man in my eyes but the one thing that I never heard from him was that he was proud of me. Since he has past everyone in my family life has change at first for the worst but they turned it around and seem very happy. For me it’s different I just can’t get my head to stop thinking about my past when I enjoyed life and knew who I wanted to be. For the last 3 and half years I have been off and on again with sleeping pills so that I can stop thinking about everything. I have tried going to get help on military base and it help a little but two things happen when I do that witch is the person that was helping me ends up transfers out to a new military base and when I inform my command they see me in a new light and I feel that they walk around egg shell when there near me. Since I was station State side for the first time since I join the military I got me a dog to help me out for not being alone witch it helps out a little but I still fill like crap inside. I just can’t stop thinking about where I lived and my life before my father past away.

• Reply #1 09/08/09  4:13pm
  
  1sickofit
  i dont have any real words of advice, just wanted to let you know you're not alone and i hope you find your way, oh, and be carefull with the meds, make sure you keep it to the prescribed use, drug/alcohol abuse WILL MAKE IT WORSE, that is the only thing i can tell you for sure (personal experience). have you tried counseling outside the base? maybe someone a littler more removed from your job will have better results, good luck and hang in there
• Reply #2 10/10/09  3:47pm
  
  BAM68
  Darkhole23....Dwelling on the past is a big issue with me in life.....It will only bring you down.....I have to keep myself pre-occupied,but how when you lose all interest in daily things in your life? BAM68
• Reply #3 10/10/09  9:45pm
  
  jzldy
  .My dad died when I was 21, And I still miss him I am now 67.Allow yourself time to grive. Each enity was put here for a reason, when our job is done we go on to the next phase of life. I like that thought, My daughter would have been 48 this year, she died april 2003. There is a book called The Power Of Now. I also likes Sylvia B.rowne's books on life on the other side.I sincerely hope you feel better, Time heals.Jzldy
• Reply #4 10/12/09  1:55am
  
  jzldy
  a record by BBKIng, He is giving the queen advice, His advice, Don't look back and Don't look down. Put the hammer down and full speed ahead. .I cannot change yesterday,I can work on tomorrow, I really belive if I can continue to change my thoughts, I'll stay on the Mother Ship and get on with the reason I was spared death.

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