canuckmama

Feeling a little discouraged...

Posted on 02/04/09, 11:59 am

I am feeling a little discouraged. I am TTC after 3 miscarriages. We have been trying for 5 months and haven't got pregnant. The logical side of me knows this is probably normal, but every time I have been pregnant I got pregnant on the first month of trying. The emotional side of me is so mixed...I want to have another baby so badly, want to give my 2 1/2 year old son a sibling but I am scared that if I do get pregnant I will miscarry again.

I know that things happen if they are supposed to...I believe in everything happens for a reason, but that doesn't make this feeling in limbo any easier!

Can anyone relate?

• Reply #1 02/04/09  8:16pm
  
  smontaguegrant
  I'm so sorry for your losses.
  
  I've had one, and I think I can relate to you. We lost our baby in November, on our second month of trying. It was our first pregnancy.
  
  I'm terrified that now that we're ready to TTC again, that it'll be months on end before we get good news - and a "sticky baby".
  
  Not knowing is frustrating and upsetting.
• Reply #2 02/05/09  11:36am
  
  Jenn1307
  I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate to your frustration but not to having multiple MC. Have you been tested to find out why you have had multiple MC? As far as limbo as my mom said yor body just isn't readyh yet. Perhaps once your desire for a baby is grearter than the fear of MC then it will happen. The mind and body are amazing and work in ways we will never understand. May all your dreams come true.
• Reply #3 02/21/09  1:34pm
  
  JessG
  I agree with Jenn, I think sometimes you need to give yourself time after your MC before you TTC. If your fear is so strong that you wouldn't be excited about being pregnant, then you probably need more time to deal with the fear. I MC last March, and I am finally now ready to be pregnant again. Of course it may not take that long for you, but it did for me. Once during that time period I thought I was pregnant and I literally bursted into tears, that's when I knew I wasn't really ready yet and I think God knew it to, which is probably why it didn't happen yet. Just give yourself sometime to heal a little, we all need that. I am sorry for your losses, we are here for you.
• Reply #4 02/22/09  9:14am
  
  canuckmama
  Thanks for the replies. I have had all the tests (genetic, blood tests, HCG) and all was normal, so there is no apparent explanation for the losses. My last loss was in July 2008...I have done a lot to work through the pain and grief (reading, journaling, poetry, a support group called Angel Babies)...but you are right about the fear vs. desire...I have thought about that a few times in the past few months and I feel that I am ready to take that true leap and leave the rest up to God.
  
  May all of you have the happiness and joy the world has to offer too. Thanks for your support!
• Reply #5 02/28/09  11:39pm
  
  eamc
  I too had a miscarriage last July, and now haven't gotten pregnant in the 5 months we have been trying. Previously, I have gotten pregnant the first month we tried (and have 2 kids from those times). I had one m/c in 2003 between having my 2 babies, and then the one last summer. Both of those were surprise pregnancies - we weren't trying at all. The last baby tested as a normal girl - and except for now being told my progesterone is low, I have had no other testing. My dr. says it's unlikely there is anything really wrong because I have always conceived easily and carried 2 babies to term. Every month now that I get a bfn, I am getting more used to the fact that I have to be patient and let God's plan take its course. At now 38 years old, I know that my time to continue trying for this is dwindling - I know I can't keep up this routine of opks and temperatures, Chinese herbs (I am trying acupuncture as well to try and regulate my hormones), progesterone, and 2wws for too much longer. I am completely with you on the feeling of being in limbo! I am hoping that eventually, if I have to decide that we are done trying - that I will be comfortable and feel that that was God's plan for us. I hope that this works for you as well and we will have the strength to be patient and wait to see where our paths will go!
• Reply #6 03/07/09  5:28pm
  
  canuckmama
  Thanks for the feedback eamc. I truly wish you the best in your ttc.
  
  I have an update...I am pregnant. I am only 5 weeks today. I am so happy and overjoyed, but so cautious and trying not to be scared. I lost my last 2 babies at 5 weeks. I feel good. No spotting. I keep telling myself I will take it one week at a time and at times one day at a time. God willing I will meet this baby on earth...my others I will meet in heaven one day.
• Reply #7 03/08/09  4:49pm
  
  Amanda0317
  Congrats on your pregnancy. My husband and I lost our baby last month, we are going to start trying around the end of April beginning of May. Again congrats and take one day at a time :)
• Reply #8 03/12/09  1:41pm
  
  canuckmama
  I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best in your road ahead.
• Reply #9 03/21/09  6:40pm
  
  nadiasmommy
  canuckmama- hang in there. I hope all is going well in your pregnancy. I've been pregnant 4 times- ectopic, my daughter, and two miscarriages within 9 months of each other. The last one was in June of 08. We just started trying again last month. I'm thinking about throwing away my opk's and basal therm. keeping track of all of this is just enough to drive me nuts. Does anyone else have that going on who is ttc? Not to mention everywhere i go someone else is pregnant, there is a sale on baby clothes or i overhear a woman complain that she is pregnant again- so frustrating!
  
  For the women who have just loss their baby- my heart goes out to you. No one gets it like someone who has been through it. You will begin to heal and will find the strength to try again. Best of luck!
  
• Reply #10 03/31/09  8:51am
  
  canuckmama
  Update...lost my baby this week...devestated...focused on physically healing then will tackle the emotional battle...

this group is for those mommy and daddy to angels who are currently trying to concieve or have succeeded in ttc