Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:

..8:00 am - Dog food!.....My favorite thing!
..9:30 am - A car ride!.....My favorite thing!
..9:40 am - A walk in the park!.....My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!.....My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch!.....My favorite thing!
..1:00 pm - Played in the yard!.....My favorite thing!
..3:00 pm - Wagged my tail!.....My favorite thing!
..5:00 pm - Milk Bones!.....My favorite thing!
..7:00 pm - Got to play ball!.....My favorite thing!
..8:00 pm - Wow! TV with the people!..My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!.....My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell
the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously not very smart.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...