Discussion Topic
Mom
Posted on 04/28/09, 05:23 pm
I come from a very disfunctional family. My dad has since passed away but my mom was the ringleader. She would scream all the time. She was very irrational. She is now 91 and living with me and I find that I still have resentments towards her. Just little things she does. I don't want to say anything so I just keep it inside. I don't want to hurt her feeling as she has mellowed down since I was young. How do I handle these resentments?
-
Reply #1 05/18/09 7:14pm
91? wow. you can try asking her why she was so rotton. i think many people long ago weren't suited for being a parent and people felt trapped into it, thus the screaming. if she was bipolar she would scream a lot. very sad. -
Reply #2 08/13/09 3:11am
I also came from a very dysfunctional family from the age of 5 there was divorce from a juvenile abusive father, then an abusive alcoholic stepfather, an irrational mother, sibling rivalry, me being the oldest of 4 boys, Always moving always fighting, and I ran away from home once and for all at the age of 16 years and many questions we asked about the why this and the why that for over 10 years. My mother after I left home became a real christian and I had a hard time believing it. After several years of her constant prayers I too finally became a born again Christian. For over 25 years now my mother and I reconciled and I forgave her years ago. I still yet suffered from one problem I forgave her however I could not forget what used to be. I turned 54 last November I had been homeless for over 3 years and had no money for a gift. I decided to sit down and remember every little nice thing my mother did from the beginning of my earliest memories somewhere near the age of 3 up until after I turned 54 so I had written every good thing I could ever remember my mother doing for 51 years needless to say by the time I had finished I had written nearly 7 pages of one line nice memories. I gave it to my mother for Christmas of 2008 as the only present I could afford. My mother received a gift of gratitude and appreciation. I received the best present ever. I have forgotten any wrong she ever did and God healed both of our hearts. This is my true experience. I hope it helps. May god bless Love Dave -
Reply #3 10/11/09 2:47pm
My own mother was very distant emotionally because of her feeling trapped, so I agree that most people arent able to even be parents, especially in early 20's like she was. I just told myself that I would break that chain after my mother finally told me that 5 generations of women on her side were very mean mothers indeed! I have fixed that with my daughter, and we resolved to always just let 'er rip when we wanted to get strong feelings out, and not hold lifelong grudges for someones elses actions. It wasnt easy to forgive my own mother, she did some pretty rotten things to me, yet after reading the book "the cinderella complex" it really opened my eyes, alot of my certainties were confirmed. And I broke that chain for good! I always treat her nice, and it has rubbed off onto her! Call it Jesus syndrome or what, but I think its working much better than the pent up anger was!
Welcome
Join This Group
this group is intended for people who came out negative family situations to help support each other
