abuse

anybody else like me

Posted on 03/11/09, 11:58 am

hello to everybody
i am under continues abuse and trying to get out for a long time but can't and whenever i try i find a closed door and nobody to help .my abusers are aware that i cant find help and enjoying it
i am very lonely and miserable. i do not what to do

• Reply #1 04/03/09  10:50pm
  
  inpainincanada
  i am so sorry that you are in such a situation. my only advice is to keep trying. dont give up.
• Reply #2 04/05/09  10:18pm
  
  beingmyself
  I too am subject to constant abuse. Verbal only, but on a daily basis.
  
  Depending on your age and other problems, there are options. Right now, because I'm considered mentally disabled, I'm working with the Department of Mental Health to get into some sort of assisted living facility.
  
  My step father and mother don't consider "mental problems" to be an actual illness. My doctor and therapist say that all the rude comments and put downs are only making me worse. Frankly I'd rather have one of them just haul off and smack me one, it may not sound logical, but the satisfaction of throwing a punch back would make ME feel a lot better!
  
  Just a for instance, I tried doing my taxes on-line tonight, and was utterly confused, of course. Forms and such are not easy for me. I asked for help and considering my 30th birthday is tomorrow, I had hoped for some mercy. I got no help, and when I went to print the forms (I still have no clue if I did it right), my step father gave me a ton of shit for using so much ink. Like I'm the one who decided what should and shoudn't be printed?? Then he asked why I had to do taxes at all, considering my only form of income is SSDI, which isn't taxable, and I get nothing back from it. My mother stepped in for once and said I had to do it to cover my butt because my estranged husband hasn't done his taxes yet, I called him earlier for some information that was asked on the program, and he was so drunk he didn't even know where his W-2 was. I made the mistake of chiming in that if I didn't do my taxes, it was a possibility I won't get the SS stimulus check that SS recipients are supposedly getting in the next few months.
  
  He replied that people who don't work should't be getting anything, we are all lazy welfare rats. I once again tried to explain that being disabled and being on welfare are two different things, and people on welfare aren't getting a stimulus check, and that the new 12 dollar a week pay increase he and my mother are getting is all part of the same economic stimulus plan.
  
  I also stated that if I didn't receive SSDI, I wouldn't have any money to pay them rent with. He said anyone living off other people's taxes are all the same, we are all lazy and don't deserve to get anything extra while he works all week and we don't. He said we are all scamming the system and HE has to pay for it.
  
  My mother and I while I was growing up were on welfare for many years, and when I started working at age 14,I had NO problem or complaints paying taxes out of my paycheck for SS or anything else they took out.
  
  These comments are coming from a man who is angry that when it comes time for him to retire, he won't get much from SS. Reason being is that he cheated on his taxes for the better part of 20 years while working as a bartender and not claiming his tips.
  
  It's always like this, every day. The resentment is so blatant anyone can see it, they hate that they have to work and I don't, and don't see that I'd give anything to be able to have my career back, or even any job at all. They seem to believe the past 4 years have been like a vacation for me. A vacation? I lost EVERYTHING I had, and now I have to LIVE with these people (I call them "the people upstairs", because it horrifies me that I'm actually related to them) who verbally abuse me daily, call me selfish and lazy and tell me I need to grow up.
  
  They never said things like that BEFORE I got sick and made good money and "loaned" them THOUSSANDS of dollars that I never saw back. THEN I was someone "worth something", now I'm worthless and a burden, and they never miss an opportunity to let me know it.
  
  I have no family to take me in or help me, either.
  
  But I agree with Inpainincanada above. As easy as it might be, I will NOT give up, I WILL get out of here, even if it requires me having to go into a nursing home to do so, someday, somehow, I will get out of here and away from them and I will NOT look back. Four years now this has been going on, and the things I have to suffer are bad enough without THEM adding to it. I tolerate as best I can for now, but when I leave, they will know damn well why and that I will never, ever forget everything they've put me through.
  
  God forgive me, but I hope by me taking my rent money away, they lose this house and wish they could take back all of it. What goes around comes around, and I believe they'll get theirs, and I hope it bites them in the ass, but it will be too late for any "I'm sorry's" by then.
  
  They'll be sorry, I imagine their own narrow=minded selfishness will see to THAT. And when they call crying about it, I'll be the first one to say, "Too bad for you, but I don't want to hear about your problems, just like you never wanted to hear about mine".
  
  Abuse, I pray that you will find a way out of the situation you are in. There is always a way out, sometimes we just need to be patient as possible until it prsents itself. And grab it when it finally does.
  
  That is what keeps me going.
• Reply #3 05/18/09  7:27pm
  
  79pounds
  move to a state that is at least 500 miles away from your abuser. do not have contact with family or friends or even friends of friends of the abuser. get a p.o. box or a mail boxes etc. do not have a land line phone just a cell. NEVER talk to anyone who remotely knows your abuser. don't even go to alumni school things. nowhere that you can be located. you can even change your social security number. you can also move to a different country with or without doing this through a college study abroad program and the government PAYS for it for you. life is too short to spend it in torture and that is what knowing abusive people is like. pure torture. you will discover how bad life was as soon as you get away from them and never look back and you will be shocked that you ever put up with even one crumb of it. people who remain in dysfunctional families do so because it has become their addiction, like a familiar security blanket. its a habit, like heroin but without all the peace and serenity of heroin.

this group is intended for people who came out negative family situations to help support each other