I've decided to get the courage and strengh to write on here about what i have been through the last 3 mounths. Things for me now are like a full stop and i need help. My twin sister passed away only 3 weeks ago, she was diagoised with secoundery liver cancer from the bowl. When we recieved the news all i had was hope and this could'nt of happened to her, she felt the same and we both really believed she would pull through with the right treatment.
Sammy only got to have 1 dose of chemo then she had emergency op to remove her bowl. Things got wosre after the surgey, sammy still had hope that things were gona be ok, then she was sent home from hospital get get well. That was on tuesday and then on the fri we were told by the distrct nurse that she only had a few days left. I cound'nt get my head around it, i was taking care of her at home and she was getting washed and dressed by herself, eating and resting. I didnt want to believe it and she had no idea what was going to happen to her, but i did and needed to be positive around her which was very hard as well as caring for her.
She died 2 days later at home with me by her side, i've never ever been through something as hard as this and i don't think i ever will. Her death is so vivid in my head right now i cant think of any other memories because im so cut up about it.
We had her funeral a week ago and life around me feels like a dream, everyone is so normal and happy and my life feels like dungeons and dragons.
Im feeling angry that shes been taken away and i feel her greaving for me which makes me worse, very lost and confuised and things feel weird. Im not crying enough just thumb what does that mean?