nadareal3

I have a big question, suicide

Posted on 06/13/08, 07:47 am

If you have a loved one who has shared with you that they choose to leave this life (suicide, in one form or another), how would you deal with that? I know, this is a really BIG question, and a really BIG trigger. I'm sorry. It's been on my mind alot lately. Would you try to talk them out of it? (even though you know that would do no good) Would you guilt trip them? Would you know that it is the truth, and accept it, and wish them the best, and be the best friend you could be? How would this terrible truth affect your life? This is a true story, not that it is a happy story. Sometimes, people just give up.........is that so wrong?

• Reply #1 06/13/08  11:14am
  
  LongIslandKat
  For me and this is just my own personal opinion, there are two scenarios: if the person if physically healthy I would do all I could to get them professional help. Even if it means calling in people to straight jacket them and lock them in a hospital. I believe in this case suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I couldn't live with myself if I did not do my best. I have seen how this action can destroy many lives. On the other hand, if the person wants to commit suicide because they are in so much physical pain due to an illness, accident, etc. and if doctors can not help and the prognosis is bad I might encourage counseling but ultimately I believe it is a person's right. I would support doctor assisted suicide.
• Reply #2 06/14/08  6:39pm
  
  LonelySurfer
  Oh my, this is a touchy issue. I have been on both sides of that fence and likely will be again. When it was me wanting to kill myself because I could see no other way out and had tried everything I could think of, a few factors stopped me:
  
  1) I hate physical pain and could think of no way to avoid it when trying. (I have fought chronic pain, unbelievable migraines and IBS attacks that made me wish with all my heart that I would die. Then there's the depression...god, the depression. And neverending financial stress. - All of these things have been a part of my life since early childhood.)
  
  2) I love my husband with every fibre of my being and the thought of leaving him wondering why I abandoned him pulled me back a number of time.
  
  3) I worship my pets and the thought of what would happen to them without me also pulled me back a number of times. Plus, no matter how low I get, I find it literally impossible to look at them and not feel even just a tiny just better.
  
  4) I try hard each time to remember that getting some sleep, even if it means sleeping pills, and calling someone close does help.
  
  5) As soon as those suicide thoughts start floating around in my head, I notify my husband to hide my medications and dole them out only on schedule, and to hide the kitchen knives and his weapon collection.
  
  When someone I care about is considering suicide, I will do whatever it takes to stop them. Staying with them at all hours, letting them vent, cry or even scream. I will suggest getting help, ensure they have the hot-line number and will remind them of all the people in their lives who will miss them. If however, it is someone who is suffering horribly from a disease and the doctors have done all they can, I would simply step back and tell them I support them either way. I do support doctor-assisted suicide, but would not actively participate myself due to the very real legal repercussions that would come my way.
  
  NADAREAL3, are you talking about yourself here? If so, would you be up to sharing why? Perhaps we can help you.
  
  Are you talking about someone close to you? If so, why are they considering such thought?
  
  
• Reply #3 06/16/08  4:40pm
  
  MaRhianna
  I agree with the other comments. If someone is suffering from depression I would get medical help for them and try talking them out of it.
  On the other hand if the person was in severe physical pain and the prognosis was bad then I would agree to help the person in whatever decision they make.
  I am interested too in the last two comments that Lonelysurfer made. Would you like to enlighten us Nada. (((hugs)))
• Reply #4 06/16/08  9:06pm
  
  LonelySurfer
  Rhianna, I'm not sure what two comments you are referring to? Do you mean bullet points numbered 4 & 5?
  
  p.s. Thanks for the hug and back at ya!
• Reply #5 06/17/08  4:41pm
  
  MaRhianna
  Lonelysurfer, I was referring to the last four lines in your comment where you asked Nadareal3 if he was talking about himself here or someone else close to him.
• Reply #6 06/19/08  8:31pm
  
  eightagain
  I think LongIslandKat nailed it imho
• Reply #7 06/21/08  7:52am
  
  jazzergirl
  Nad in my expericence with suicidal people that are serious, they will find a way to do it, usually very quietly. I guess I would try to talk them out of it if they wanted to talk about it but I certainly would not guilt them. That is not going to help anything.
• Reply #8 07/03/08  3:10pm
  
  nadareal3
  Lonelysurfer, to reply to your question, this is about someone very close to me. It has of course applied to me personally at one time or another.
• Reply #9 08/15/08  12:30am
  
  ElizabethAn...
  Even thought it is set in, I would do my best to talk to them, see that things can get better, if anything it will hold them off for the amount of time that I did try my hardest to talk them out of it. My father killed himself almost 8yrs ago, and while I didnt know, if I did, I would try to talk him out of it. xx
• Reply #10 09/17/08  1:13am
  
  LAURAAAAA
  if you know that someone is haveing suicidal thoughts i think that it it your responsibility to get them the help they need. suicide is a very frightning thing and people dont like to talk about it and often try and brush it aside and put it out of mind. but it is soo soo incredibaly importiant to listen and let the suicidal person know that u are there for them and if necisarry call 911 or the suicide prevention hotline if you dont know what to do. there are no boundries when a persons life may be in danger. even if they swore you to secrecy this is the one time when you are alowed to break that confidance and even if that person is angry at u for 'giveing them away' at first, i think it is more importiant to save that persons life
  
  and no i dont think it is ok for a person to just give up. my mom has been suicidal many times and if she had gone so many people woudl have been affected. suicide involves more than just the suicidal person, its amazing how many people something like that can touch. i know how painfull life can be at times, and i know we all have our weak moments but life can also be soo beautiful and full of love. and no one has to feel like they have to do it on there own.
  
  suicide is NEVER the right answer
  more then anything i know this now
  

This group is formed with the idea that we collectively have a place to tell our stories. Gosh, don't each of us have so many stories to tell!!! Some happy, some sad, some ironic, some defying classification. Bring back the memories of youth, memories of growing up, memories of life changing events. The only thing I ask is to please keep it mutually respectful, and non-argumentative.